Well do you, steampunk?

Treasure Planet (2002)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 95 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Captain Amelia

Prince/Hero: Jim Hawkins

Sidekicks: Sarah, Dr. Delbert Doppler, Mr. Arrow, Morph, B.E.N.

Villain: Silver, Scroop

Music: “I’m Still Here”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ears. ½ ear for Captain Amelia, ½ ear for Jim, ½ ear for Dr. Doppler, and ½ ear for Silver.

This is an ok movie that was probably ahead of its time. It is a good adventure, probably comparable to Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Captain Amelia is a great leader and very catty. Jim spends too much time surfing and is a bit bratty. Dr. Doppler is a good role model for Jim, Mr. Arrow is a fine first mate for Amelia, Morph is kind of annoying, and B.E.N. is just a waste of a character. Silver is a jerk that avenges himself in the end, and Scroop is scary and evil. Not much music; “I’m Still Here” is ok, just your typical montage song.

I think this movie just gets lost in the shuffle of all the other animated movies that came out in the early 2000s. Not great, not terrible ... just fun to watch. I think my love for Michael J. Fox would make me pick Atlantis: The Lost Empire over this movie, but chances are, both movies will be out of the bracket before they would get the chance to battle it out.

Space Oddity

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 85 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Lilo

Prince/Hero: Stitch

Sidekicks: Nani, Bubbles, David, Jumba, Pleakley

Villain: Gantu

Music: “Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride”, “He Mele No Lilo”, “Heartbreak Hotel”, “Hound Dog”, “Stuck on You”, “Suspicious Minds”, (You’re the) Devil in Disguise”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse Ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Lilo, 1 for Stitch, 1 for Nani/Bubbles/David, and ½ for the Hawaiian songs.

This is a really funny movie, and a great adventure. Lilo is great and does a great job just being a kid. Stitch is silly one moment, terrifying the next ... so you’ve got to keep an eye on him. Nani is a great sister, Bubbles is tough but nice, and David looks good with his shirt off. Gantu isn’t in it enough to really be considered a villain. The Hawaiian songs are fun, but the music is mostly random Elvis songs. Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me.

This is another underrated movie that most people seem to forget. I like that it has both women and minorities, which seem to be lacking in movies these days. It is also the last one before a rough stretch of movies I am probably going to struggle through slowly. But back to this movie; Lilo and Stich are a great duo and may make some noise in the bracket.

Waterworld

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 96 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Princess Kidagakash

Prince/Hero: Milo J. Thatch

Sidekicks: Cookie, Moliere, Packard, Ramirez, Santorini, Sweet

Villain: Commander Rourke, Sinclair

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Milo J. Thatch, 1 for Princess Kida, ½ for Cookie/Moliere/Packard/Ramirez/Santorini/Sweet, and ½ for Rourke and Sinclair.

This movie was fun. A solid animated adventure movie, which Disney does not have many of. Milo J. Thatch is a smart guy and does a good job protecting the lost city of Atlantis. Princess Kida is a strong woman and great leader of her people. The six-person crew of Cookie, Moliere, Packard, Ramirez, Santorini, and Sweet all chip in to help the mission succeed. Commander Rourke and Sinclair aren’t necessarily bad people, but their intentions for Atlantis are not in the best interests of the city. No music in this movie.

I remember looking at the movie poster (with a friend) when this movie came out and trying to predict the entire plot of the movie just based on the look of the characters. I think we were about 95% correct on everything. It should be just as easy to predict this movie’s fate in the bracket ... but Michael J. Fox (I mean Milo J. Thatch) has surprised us all before.

Groove is in the heart

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

Rated: G

Runtime: 78 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Emperor Kuzco

Sidekicks: Pacha, Chicha, Chaca, Tipo, Squirrel

Villain: Yzma, Kronk

Music: “Kronk’s Theme Music”, “Perfect World”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Kuzco, 1 for Kronk, 1 for Yzma, and ½ for “Kronk’s Theme Music”.

Arguably Disney’s funniest animated adventure. Ever. The jokes are really funny and they don’t get old. Kuzco is hilarious and a good guy deep down. Pacha is sweet and loves his family. Yzma is a great villainess: funny and evil. Kronk steals the show. He might be the best Disney sidekick of all time. He speaks squirrel, and even has his own theme music. Unfortunately, there is not any other music in the film to write about. Rumor has it this was supposed to be a musical led by Sting.... I’m glad it wasn’t.

This is an extremely underrated Disney movie. I remember everyone really liking it when it was in theaters, and people still talk about it being funny today. For some strange reason it is quite loved by the ladies. I think it will be a popular choice in the bracket. It will be a tough road, but as Kuzco would say: “Bring it on!”

Land of the Lost

Dinosaur (2000)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 82 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Neera

Prince/Hero: Aladar

Sidekicks: Baylene, Bruton, Eema, Kron, Plio, Suri, Url, Yar, Zini

Villain: Carnotaurus, Velociraptor

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ears. ½ for Aladar, ½ for Neera, ½ for Baylene/Bruton/Eema/Kron/Plio/Suri/Url/Yar/Zini, and ½ for the Carnotarus/Velociraptor.

At times this was a visually beautiful movie. Other times it was creepy. Aladar was a good hero and he saved the day. Neera kept Aladar going in the right direction. Yar, Plio, Suri, and Zini were a great “family” for Aladar; Baylene and Eema were good friends. Kron was just a grumpy old man. The Carnotarus and the Velociraptor were mean and scary. There were no musical numbers, which is good because I think it would have been weird to see dinosaurs sing.

I was hoping for a fun movie, but I was left disappointed. This movie definitely would have been left out of the Ross Geller Dinosaur Box Set. I can only think of 2 movies that would definitely have to be in the set: Jurassic Park and The Land Before Time. If anyone can think of any others, let me know. In the meantime, don’t expect this movie to do well in the bracket.

Classical Music 2: Electric Boogaloo

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

Rated: G

Runtime: 75 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Daisy Duck

Prince/Hero: Donald Duck

Sidekicks: ballerina, tin soldier

Villain: firebird, jack-in-the-box

Music: “The Carnival of the Animals, Finale”, “Piano Concerto No. 2 in F major”, “Pines of Rome”, Pomp and Circumstance – Marches 1, 2, 3 and 4”, “Rhapsody in Blue”, “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”, “Symphony No. 5 in C minor”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ears. 1 for Donald and Daisy Duck, 1 for the ballerina and tin soldier, 1 for the firebird and jack-in-the-box, and 1 for the music.

Since The Sorcerer’s Apprentice was in the original Fantasia, I will concentrate on the new stuff. Donald and Daisy Duck were a fun and cute pair in their version of Noah’s Ark. Again, there were lots of “sidekicks” in the movie (flamingos, whales, a spring sprite, and an elk), but my favorites were the ballerina and the tin soldier. Their story was romantic and sweet. There were two villains in the movie: a firebird and a jack-in-the-box ... both creepy and terrifying.

Like the original, this movie is also big with its musical stars: Beethoven, Dukas, Elgar, Gershwin, Respighi, Saint-Saens, Shostakovich, and Stravinsky. I think I like Fantasia better, because, well, it’s the original. But this one is a lot of fun with something for everyone. It might do well in the bracket, just not as good as the original.

Terk Terkleton

Tarzan (1999)

Rated: G

Runtime: 88 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Jane

Prince/Hero: Tarzan

Sidekicks: Terk, Tantor, Kala, Kerchak, Professor Porter

Villain: Clayton, Sabor

Music: “Son of Man”, “Strangers Like Me”, “Trashin’ the Camp”, “Two Worlds”, “You’ll Be in My Heart”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Tarzan, 1 for Jane, and 1 for “You’ll Be in My Heart”.

Hmmm ... this movie could have been something special. The jungle looked amazing and Tarzan was quite the handsome hero. Jane is a great match for him and the choice of Minnie Driver for the voice was perfect. Tarzan’s “parents” Kala and Kerchak are good, but Terk is a really annoying sidekick and Clayton is a sleazy villain. But all would have been ok if it wasn’t for all the Phil Collins songs. “You’ll Be in My Heart” is great, but all the others ruin the scenes they are in. Oh Phil, you were good when I was in junior high, but now ...

A decent jungle adventure with some terrifying moments and scenes that make you cry. Where The Jungle Book succeeds, this one falls a bit short. I like it but I wish it was better. It might only be around a short time in the bracket. Then it will have to spend the rest of its time picking up after “Trashin’ the Camp” ...

The girl who saved the world

Mulan (1998)

Rated: G

Runtime: 88 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Mulan

Prince/Hero: Ping

Sidekicks: Mushu, Cri-Kee, Li Shang, Chien-Po, Ling, Yao, Zhou

Villain: Shan Yu

Music: “A Girl Worth Fighting For”, “Honor to Us All”, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”, “Reflection”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Mulan, 1 for Ping, 1 for Mushu/Cri-Kee/Li Shang/Chien-Po/Ling/Yao, 1 for Shan Yu, and 1 for the music.

I am tempted to make a Mulan/Larry Bird comparison, but I am not sure the world is ready ... and I don’t feel like writing 1,000 words today. Mulan is one of the few so far that can balance Princess/Heroine awesomeness. Ping never gives up and isn’t afraid of anyone or anything. Mushu and Cri-Kee are funny; Chien-Po, Ling, and Yao are great warriors; Li Shang looks good with his shirt off. Shan Yu is a terrifying bully. “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”, and “Reflection” are great, and there are just the right amount of songs.

Yeah I know Mulan/Ping are the same person, but they are 2 different characters. Which is what makes Mulan so kick-ass. I don’t think there is another Disney female that could have pulled off double-duty: like Larry Bird had to do when his teammates were having bad games. Mulan just might single-handedly carry this movie to greater heights than anyone would have expected.

Sunny in Phil-adelphia

Hercules (1997)

Rated: G

Runtime: 93 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Megara

Prince/Hero: Hercules

Sidekicks: Philoctetes, Pegasus, Zeus, the Muses

Villain: Hades, Pain, Panic

Music: “Go the Distance”, “The Gospel Truth”, “I Won’t Say (I’m in Love), “One Last Hope” “A Star is Born”, “Zero to Hero”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ½ ears. 1 for Megara, 1 for Hercules, ½ for Philoctetes/Pegasus, 1 for Hades, and 1 for the music.

I think this is one of the more underrated Disney movies. Hercules is a great hero, never gives up, and will sacrifice himself for others. Megara, even with her troubled past, is sweet and has a great voice. Philoctetes has his moments, and Pegasus is funny. Hades is a tremendous villain. He balances humor, wit, and evilness as well as anyone. The music is fun; two high-level songs in “Go the Distance” and “I Won’t Say (I’m in Love”) ... the latter in which Megara absolutely shines in.

I love how they keep referring to Hercules as “Wonderboy”. They are probably curious to know the secrets of his powers. I hope that people have seen this movie and liked it. If not they are missing out. Megara is awesome. It might sneak up on people in the bracket, so do your research ... and by that I mean watch this movie!

Play like a champion today

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Rated: G

Runtime: 91 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Esmeralda

Prince/Hero: Quasimodo

Sidekicks: Captain Phoebus, Hugo, Laverne, Victor, Djali

Villain: Frollo

Music: “The Bells of Notre Dame”, “The Court of Miracles”, “God Help the Outcasts”, “A Guy Like You”, “Heaven’s Light/Hellfire”, “Out There”, “Topsy Turvy”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Quasimodo, ½ for Esmeralda, ½ for Frollo, and 1 for “Heaven’s Light/Hellfire”.

The coulda-shoulda-woulda movie. It was nearly Disney’s second PG rated animated movie, and it was good if you took out its want-to-be Shrek moments, even though Shrek didn’t get released until 2001. Quasimodo was a good guy and great hero. Esmeralda was really kind and brave; I just wish she would have ended up with Quasi. Captain Phoebus was ok, but the gargoyles were not funny. Frollo was a bad man and had some extremely terrifying moments. The music was good but again too many songs. “Heaven’s Light/Hellfire” was by far the best.

Overall a movie that was better than I had expected, but could have been much more. The ‘90s have been my favorite decade so far for Disney movies, but this one is a bit low on the list. Quasi should be a fan favorite, maybe even deserving of a slow-clap ... or chanting of his name from the cheap seats. Quasi ... Quasi ... Quasi. It might/might not do well in the bracket.

One a-maize-ing woman

Pocahontas (1995)

Rated: G

Runtime: 81

Princess/Heroine: Pocahontas

Prince/Hero: John Smith

Sidekicks: Meeko, Flit, Chief Powhatan, Grandmother Willow, Kocoum, Nakoma

Villain: Governor Ratcliffe, Percy, Thomas

Music: “Colors of the Wind”, “Just Around the Riverbend”, “Listen with Your Heart”, “Mine, Mine, Mine” “Savages”, “Steady as the Beating Drum”, “The Virginia Company”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Pocahontas, 1 for Meeko/Flit/Nakoma, and 1 for the music.

Hmmm. After a string of really good movies, this one takes a step back. It’s not bad, but it not good; just somewhere in the middle. Pocahontas is a great heroine. She sings and makes good choices. John Smith is ok but a little creepy. Meeko and Flit are good pals for Pocahontas, and Nakoma is a good friend. Governor Ratcliffe is kind of boring and racist. Too many songs, but there are 2 really good ones in “Colors of the Wind” and “Just Around the Riverbend”.

I had a friend in high school that complained when he was dragged to this movie by his younger girlfriend. I had no problem being dragged to this movie by a girl in high school ... who am I kidding, I saw it by myself. Pocahontas was hot! She carried this movie by herself and may be able to win a game in the bracket. Take that Mike Hussey! (He was my friend in high school.)

Return of the King

 

The Lion King (1994)

Rated: G

Runtime: 88 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Simba

Sidekicks: Mufasa, Nala, Timon, Pumbaa, Rafiki, Sirabi, Zazu

Villain: Scar, Shenzi, Banzai, Ed

Music: “Be Prepared”, “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”, “Circle of Life”, “Hakuna Matata”, “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ears. 1 for Simba, 1 for Mufasa/Timon/Pumbaa, 1 for Scar, and 1 for the music.

I worked at a movie theater when this came out and it was extremely popular. Simba is a great hero, but only after being lazy for most of the movie. Nala should have been the hero of the movie, but she wasn’t allowed to be because, well, she’s a girl. Mufasa is pretty awesome but he is only around for a short time. Timon and Pumbaa are a funny duo and at times steal the show. Scar is one of the best villains ever, and the trio of hyenas are solid as well. The music has to be considered one of Disney’s best; the “Circle of Life” opening is amazing!

Back story: I ruined this movie for 200 people during one of my days working at the local theater. I bumped the projector and caused the movie to break during Simba’s dramatic scene after defeating Scar. Some people were in the lobby getting drinks and didn’t get back to their seats before we fixed and restarted the movie ... sorry. This movie will be a heavy favorite in the bracket.

Diamond in the rough

Aladdin (1992)

Rated: G

Runtime: 90

Princess/Heroine: Jasmine

Prince/Hero: Aladdin

Sidekicks: Genie, Abu, Magic Carpet, Sultan, Radja

Villain: Jafar, Iago

Music: “Friend Like Me”, “One Jump Ahead”, “Prince Ali”, “A Whole New World”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Aladdin, 1 for Jasmine, 1 for Genie, 1 for Jafar, and 1 for the music.

Fun, excitement, scares, romance ... this movie has it all. Aladdin is a smooth criminal and a big hit with the ladies. Jasmine can hold her own and won’t settle for just anyone. Abu is a funny pal, and Magic Carpet is there whenever Aladdin needs him. Jafar is a snake (literally), and Iago is a faithful partner in crime. The music is great and the magic carpet scene is breathtaking. But the best part of the movie is the Genie. He is hilarious and does a good job of not being over the top.

I started working at a movie theater in 1992. I remember this movie being extremely popular. It played forever. I bet there was at least one guy who took several girls on movie dates and this film was the film of choice for at least 2 months. This will be an extremely popular movie in the bracket, and I bet that guy who went on all those movie dates to Aladdin will pick it to go very far. Good luck Rick ... or whatever his name might have been.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Rated: G

Runtime: 84 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Belle

Prince/Hero: Beast

Sidekicks: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip, Maurice

Villain: Gaston, Lefou

Music: “Be Our Guest”, “Beauty and the Beast”, “Belle”, “Gaston”, “The Mob Song”, “Something There”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Belle, 1 for Beast, 1 for Lumiere/Cogsworth/Mrs. Potts, 1 for Gaston, and 1 for the music. Yay! Another movie to earn all 5 ears.

There are so many amazing things about this film. Belle is fantastic. She reads, takes care of herself and her Papa, and knows the difference between a good guy and a jerk. Beast is a bit scary at first, but it’s just a cover for his sweetness. Lumiere and Cogsworth are a great duo, and Mrs. Potts keeps everything together. Gaston is a big chuckle-head, but his evilness is top-notch. The music is easily some of the best to date, and the movie has the famous ballroom dance scene which gets better every time you watch it.

I hate to bring it up; there is only one small thing wrong with this movie and I am pretty sure everyone agrees with me. The Beast is awesome; the Beast turning into the Prince at the end is not. If only there was a way he could have learned his lesson and Beast and Belle could have made it work. But all that aside, this movie will be a huge favorite in the bracket and should go very far.

Not Penny's Movie

The Rescuers Down Under (1990)

Rated: G

Runtime: 77 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Miss Bianca

Prince/Hero: Bernard

Sidekicks: Cody, Wilbur, Jake, Marahute

Villain: McLeach, Joanna

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 1 ear. For the eagle. All you need to know.

I had high hopes for the original movie. I had higher hopes for this one after I heard it had an awesome eagle. Unfortunately, the eagle was not enough. The tandem of Miss Bianca and Bernard were the same not-that-great duo. The eagle, though awesome, wasn’t in the movie that much. McLeach was a very boring villain. The only positive thing was that this movie, unlike the original, didn’t have any uncomfortable songs that I had to listen to.

I had read positive reviews online, just like the original received. I don’t understand what these people were watching or if they just have a low expectation of movies. The Rescuers or The Rescuers Down Under might somehow sneak into the bracket but there is no way they will do well ... right?

It's hotter under the water

The Little Mermaid (1989)

Rated: G

Runtime: 83 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Ariel

Prince/Hero: Prince Eric

Sidekicks: Sebastian, Flounder, Scuttle, Max

Villain: Ursula, Flotsam, Jetsam

Music: “Kiss the Girl”, “Les Poissons”, “Part of Your World”, “Poor Unfortunate Souls”, “Under the Sea”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Ariel, 1 for Prince Eric, 1 for Sebastian/Flounder, 1 for Ursula, and 1 for the music. Finally a movie to earn 1 ear for each category!

Wow. This movie is so good. After all these years it still holds up. Ariel is a great role model and she collects cool stuff. Prince Eric is loyal to his dog Max. Sebastian knows how to jam, and Flounder, though sometimes scared, is always by Ariel’s side. Ursula is absolutely evil. The music ... 4 great songs that rival almost any Disney song up to this movie. This movie is pretty much flawless. And it got people back in the theaters watching animated movies. Huge deal for Salty Chewbacca ... and for kids of all ages.

I am pretty sure this will be a popular pick in the bracket and it should be. It hits high marks in all categories, and is fun and scary. Oh, and my girlfriend cried like every 5 minutes which means I probably cried too ... probably. Don’t be afraid to pick this gem to go a long way in the tournament ... or cry.

New York State of Mind

Oliver & Company (1988)

Rated: G

Runtime: 74 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Jenny

Prince/Hero: Oliver, Dodger

Sidekicks: Fagin, Einstein, Francis, Georgette, Rita, Tito, Winston

Villain: Sykes, Roscoe, DeSoto

Music: “Good Company”, “Once Upon a Time in New York City”, “Perfect Isn’t Easy”, “Streets of Gold, “Why Should I Worry”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ears. 1 for Oliver/Dodger, and 1 for Einstein/Francis/Georgette/Rita/Tito.

Oh Billy Joel.... Has he ever done anything that is really good? Jenny is ok as the rich girl that takes Oliver in. Oliver and Dodger are a decent duo that knows their way around a hot dog stand. Einstein, Francis, Georgette, Rita, and Tito are a good way to round out your gang. Sykes ... well, he has huge hands. The music is catchy, but in a bad way. The songs are not that good, yet you can’t get them out of your head. With all this not-so-goodness, it’s hard to see how this movie has such a big following.

This was a disappointing start to the second half of the 52 Disney movie adventure. I am guessing the higher-up people spent the summer discussing how to make Disney movies better for the upcoming decade. This movie probably won’t do well in the bracket. Sorry Billy Joel, you will have to stick to your day job ... unfortunately.

221B Baker Street

The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

Rated: G

Runtime: 74 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Olivia Flaversham

Prince/Hero: Basil

Sidekicks: Dr. David Q. Dawson, Hiram, Toby

Villain: Professor Ratigan, Fidget, Felicia

Music: “Let Me Be Good To You”, “The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Olivia Flaversham, ½ for Basil, ½ for Dr. David Q. Dawson, 1 for Professor Ratigan, and ½ for the music.

This is the best mouse detective movie ever; it’s a fantastic adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. Basil is really funny and smart. Olivia is cute and sweet. Dawson is great as Basil’s partner. Professor Ratigan is a fun yet evil villain. The music is pretty good; “The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind” is a decent song for the bad guys, and “Let Me Be Good To You” is a bit naughty. It was an all-around good movie that should have received higher praise than The Rescuers.

I like me a good Sherlock story. I am excited that I am officially halfway to my goal of 52 Disney movies in a year. The next 3 ½ months are going to be crazy as I watch 26 more movies and get ready for the bracket challenge. As for this film, it is extremely underrated and I hope that it catches a few breaks in the bracket.

Fflewddur Fflam!!!

The Black Cauldron (1985)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 80 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Princess Eilonwy

Prince/Hero: Taran

Sidekicks: Hen Wen, Gurgi, Dallben, Fflewddur Fflam, Doli

Villain: Horned King, Creeper, Orddu, Orwen, Orgoch

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. ½ for Taran, ½ for Princess Eilonwy, 1 for Hen Wen, and 1 for the Horned King.

This movie is terrifying, earning a well-deserved PG rating—the first for a Disney animated film. Taran is the hero, but he is always losing track of his main goal. Princess Eilonwy does a good job keeping him headed in the right direction. Gurgi, Dallben, Fflewddur Fflam, and Doli play their roles well, but Hen Wen is great, though a little under-used ... being the one that knows the secret resting place of the black cauldron and all. The Horned King is spooky; Creeper and the three witches are ok.

This movie doesn’t really feel like a Disney movie; there is only instrumental music ... no singing. It also is heavy on the Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Harry Potter references. George Lucas and J.K. Rowling were definitely huge fans of the books this was based on. I appreciate the movie taking a risk on scaring its audience, so it might do better than expected in the bracket.

Thank you for being a friend

The Fox and the Hound (1981)

Rated: G

Runtime: 83 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Vixey

Prince/Hero: Tod, Copper

Sidekicks: Big Mama, Boomer, Dinky, Widow Tweed

Villain: Amos Slade, Chief

Music: “Best of Friends”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. ½ for Vixey, 1 for Tod/Copper, ½ for Big Mama/Boomer/Dinky/Widow Tweed, ½ for Amos Slade/Chief, 1 for “Best of Friends.

This movie scared me/made me cry. And I hear the book is more terrifying/sad. Tod and Copper are cute and have lots of fun together, but then sadly can’t be pals anymore. Big Mama, Boomer, Dinky, and Widow Tweed are very caring; Vixey is a good girl to have by your side after you lose your best friend. Amos Slade is a bad man, and Chief is mean, mostly because Amos made him that way. “Best of Friends” is the only song worth mentioning; it is really good and captures the mood of the movie.

From start to finish, I think this is by far Disney’s saddest movie. Dumbo and Bambi had their moments, but my girlfriend cried for basically 83 minutes ... and then hugged our cat for a while. The friendship between two unlikely animals and the sentimentality should give this movie a “root for the underdog” status in the bracket.

Gabor-ing

The Rescuers (1977)

Rated: G

Runtime: 77 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Miss Bianca

Prince/Hero: Bernard

Sidekicks: Evinrude, Orville, Penny, Rufus

Villain: Madame Medusa, Mr. Snoops, Brutus, Nero

Music: “The Journey”, “Rescue Aid Society”, “Someone’s Waiting for You”, “Tomorrow is Another Day”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ½ ears. ½ for Miss Bianca, ½ for Bernard, 1 for Rufus, and ½ for Madame Medusa.

Hmmm. Unexpectedly bad. I thought it would be a fun adventure. But it was not good on so many levels. Miss Bianca and Bernard were an ok tandem. Madame Medusa was a poor man’s poor Cruella de Vil. The music made me uncomfortable and want to turn it off. The best part of the movie was Rufus the cat. I am not sure how this movie got such a high rating. I can’t believe they made a sequel. At least I am one movie closer to the better ones.

I don’t think there is a middle ground to take on this movie. You probably love it or hate it. I don’t like to use the word hate (especially about Disney-related things), but I am definitely leaning that way. You have to watch it to say you did, but I don’t think many people will pick it in the bracket.

O Bother, Where Art Thou

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)

Rated: G

Runtime: 74 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Winnie the Pooh

Sidekicks: Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Gopher, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, Tigger

Villain: none

Music: “Heffalumps and Woozles”, “Hip Hip Pooh-Ray”, “Little Black Rain Cloud”, “A Rather Blustery Day”, “Rumbly in My Tumbly”, “Up, Down and Touch the Ground”, “When the Rain Rain Rain Came Down”, “Winnie the Pooh”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Winnie the Pooh, 1 for all of Pooh’s friends, ½ for “Heffalumps and Woozles, and 1 for my ability to compare Pooh and his gang to the Wu-Tang Clan.

Lots of fun is to be had following Pooh and his friends on their adventures. Winnie the Pooh is a great leader, he just needs to keep his head out of the honey pot. Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Gopher, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, and Tigger all play their roles fantastically. No princess/heroine or villain; but that’s ok for a film like this. There are a lot of ok songs; “Heffalumps and Woozles” is probably the best ... it sounds like a scary circus tune. It’s that generation’s “Pink Elephants on Parade”.

I had a great idea of writing a paper comparing Winnie the Pooh and his friends to the rap group Wu-Tang Clan. The basis of it is that they are both successful groups that have worked together on occasion, but break apart and release solo efforts to great acclaim. The abundance of good characters around Winnie the Pooh should help this movie in the bracket.

Prince and the Revolution

Robin Hood (1973)

Rated: G

Runtime: 83 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Maid Marian

Prince/Hero: Robin Hood

Sidekicks: Little John, Friar Tuck, Lady Kluck, Skippy, Toby

Villain: Prince John, Sir Hiss, Sheriff of Nottingham

Music: “Love”, “Oo De Lally”, “The Phony King of England”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Robin Hood, 1 for Maid Marian, and 1 for the music.

Hollywood has tackled the legend of Robin Hood several times, and I would say this is solidly in the top 5. I will get to a ranking later. Many a girl I know has said that they had a crush on this foxy Robin Hood growing up. He is amazing and he does the “Sloppy Swish”. Maid Marian is pretty foxy too. Little John is an ok sidekick. Prince John is kind of a baby, much like Joffrey in Game of Thrones. The music is good; “Oo De Lally” is fun and “Love” is charming.

The top 5 Robin Hood movies: I would say the latest Robin Hood with Russell Crowe is #5. I’ve never seen The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938), so I will put it at #4. Robin Hood (Disney) at #3. Robin Hood: Men in Tights at #2. And behind the unstoppable Kevin Costner, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves at #1. Only Disney’s Robin Hood will be eligible for my bracket and it should do ok.

Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley

The Aristocats (1970)

Rated: G

Runtime: 78 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Duchess

Prince/Hero: Thomas O’Malley

Sidekicks: Berlioz, Marie, Toulouse, Madame Adelaide, Georges, Frou-Frou the horse, Roquefort the mouse, Lafayette, Napoleon, Abigail and Amelia Gabble, Scat Cat and his band

Villain: Edgar

Music: “The Aristocats”, “Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat”, “Scales and Arpeggios”, “Thomas O’Malley Cat”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ½ ears. ½ for Duchess, ½ for Thomas O’Malley, ½ for Berlioz/Marie/Toulouse, and 1 for “Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat”.

With around 15 different characters in this film, you would think at least one of them would stand out; but I can’t find one. Duchess and Thomas O’Malley were ok. Berlioz, Marie, and Toulouse were cute. Edgar falls far short of what Cruella de Vil accomplished 3 Disney movies prior. Everyone else in the movie is just there and mostly forgettable ... except for maybe Scat Cat and his band; they totally rock in one of the better Disney songs to date: “Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat”.

I am not sure what else I can say about this movie. It’s a bunch of poppycock. I think it begins a rough stretch of Disney movies throughout the ’70s and continues into the late ’80s. But I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel ... or perhaps under the sea??? This movie will definitely have a short run in the bracket, if it makes it at all.

Jungle Boogie

The Jungle Book (1967)

Rated: G

Runtime: 78 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Mowgli

Sidekicks: Bagheera, Baloo, Colonel Hathi, King Louie

Villain: Kaa, Shere Kahn

Music: “The Bare Necessities”, “Colonel Hathi’s March”, “I Wan’na Be Like You”, “My Own Home”, “That’s What Friends Are For”, “Trust in Me”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ½ ears. 1 for Mowgli, 1 for Bagheera/Baloo/Colonel Hathi/King Louie, 1 for Shere Kahn, and 1 ½ for two awesome songs.

After years of somehow avoiding seeing this movie (several times my former boss Rebecca played this move at work), a Salty review is finally here! Sadly there is no princess ... but Mowgli is a fun little man cub. He is surrounded by several strong characters: Bagheera the panther, Baloo the bear, Colonel Hathi the elephant, and King Louie the orangutan. Kaa the python is a great mini-villain, but he is overshadowed by the awesomeness of Shere Kahn the tiger. The music is fantastic, with two top-tier songs: “The Bare Necessities” and “I Wan’na Be Like You”.

I wish I had seen this movie as a kid. It was one of the best ones I have seen so far. Oh, and Mowgli does “The Sloppy Swish” which hadn’t happened in a while, so that was cool. Lots of great things happen in this movie and should help it perform well in the bracket. And now I can talk about this movie with all the cool kids!

Squirrel Trouble

The Sword in the Stone (1963)

Rated: G

Runtime: 79 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Arthur

Sidekicks: Archimedes, Merlin, Kay, Sir Ector

Villain: Madam Mim

Music: “Higitus Figitus”, “Mad Madam Mim”, “That’s What Makes the World Go Round”, “The Sword in the Stone”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ½ ears. ½ for Arthur, 1 for Archimedes, and 1 for Merlin’s Chucks.

So, my girlfriend really liked this movie as a kid.... Now she says it’s almost unwatchable. My problem with it was that it took 75 minutes for them to get to the sword in the stone. Arthur was ok as the hero and future king. No princess/heroine. Archimedes the owl was pretty funny. Merlin wore Chucks so he gets a cool point. Kay and Sir Ector were ... well, just there. Madam Mim, I guess she was the villain? And the songs were forgettable, nothing worth mentioning.

The only thing I can say about this movie is that girl squirrels don’t take no for an answer ... which is kind of troubling in a kids’ movie. This movie will probably end up somewhere in the middle of the pack. So it will be a coin flip to stay/go in the bracket.

Kanine Krunchies

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961)

Rated: G

Runtime: 79 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Perdita

Prince/Hero: Pongo

Sidekicks: Anita, Roger, Nanny, Captain, Colonel, Sergeant Tibbs, and lots of puppies

Villain: Cruella De Vil, Horace, Jasper

Music: “Cruella De Vil”, “Dalmatian Plantation”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ears. 1 for Perdita/Pongo, 1 for all the puppies, 1 for Cruella De Vil, and 1 for the song “Cruella De Vil”.

This movie had a super groovy feel/look/sound to it, and it totally worked. Pongo and Perdita are great parents to their 15 puppies. Anita and Roger are cool; Nanny takes care of everything; Captain, Colonel, and Sergeant Tibbs are a good team; and the puppies are all cute. Horace and Jasper are good henchmen and say things like “Bob’s your uncle”. Cruella De Vil definitely steals the show. She says things like “Cheerio” and “Daaahhhling”, lived in Hell Hall, and drives a sweet car ... I’m guessing a Coupe-de-Ville. Not much music, but “Cruella De Vil” is a classic!

This is the second movie I ever saw in the theater; Back to the Future was the first. I wonder what my life would have been like if they had been reversed. Perhaps I would have a witty outgoing phone message about puppies? On a side note, Cruella is awesome and crazy enough to help this movie succeed in the bracket.