Well do you, steampunk?

Treasure Planet (2002)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 95 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Captain Amelia

Prince/Hero: Jim Hawkins

Sidekicks: Sarah, Dr. Delbert Doppler, Mr. Arrow, Morph, B.E.N.

Villain: Silver, Scroop

Music: “I’m Still Here”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ears. ½ ear for Captain Amelia, ½ ear for Jim, ½ ear for Dr. Doppler, and ½ ear for Silver.

This is an ok movie that was probably ahead of its time. It is a good adventure, probably comparable to Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Captain Amelia is a great leader and very catty. Jim spends too much time surfing and is a bit bratty. Dr. Doppler is a good role model for Jim, Mr. Arrow is a fine first mate for Amelia, Morph is kind of annoying, and B.E.N. is just a waste of a character. Silver is a jerk that avenges himself in the end, and Scroop is scary and evil. Not much music; “I’m Still Here” is ok, just your typical montage song.

I think this movie just gets lost in the shuffle of all the other animated movies that came out in the early 2000s. Not great, not terrible ... just fun to watch. I think my love for Michael J. Fox would make me pick Atlantis: The Lost Empire over this movie, but chances are, both movies will be out of the bracket before they would get the chance to battle it out.

Space Oddity

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 85 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Lilo

Prince/Hero: Stitch

Sidekicks: Nani, Bubbles, David, Jumba, Pleakley

Villain: Gantu

Music: “Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride”, “He Mele No Lilo”, “Heartbreak Hotel”, “Hound Dog”, “Stuck on You”, “Suspicious Minds”, (You’re the) Devil in Disguise”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse Ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Lilo, 1 for Stitch, 1 for Nani/Bubbles/David, and ½ for the Hawaiian songs.

This is a really funny movie, and a great adventure. Lilo is great and does a great job just being a kid. Stitch is silly one moment, terrifying the next ... so you’ve got to keep an eye on him. Nani is a great sister, Bubbles is tough but nice, and David looks good with his shirt off. Gantu isn’t in it enough to really be considered a villain. The Hawaiian songs are fun, but the music is mostly random Elvis songs. Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me.

This is another underrated movie that most people seem to forget. I like that it has both women and minorities, which seem to be lacking in movies these days. It is also the last one before a rough stretch of movies I am probably going to struggle through slowly. But back to this movie; Lilo and Stich are a great duo and may make some noise in the bracket.

Waterworld

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 96 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Princess Kidagakash

Prince/Hero: Milo J. Thatch

Sidekicks: Cookie, Moliere, Packard, Ramirez, Santorini, Sweet

Villain: Commander Rourke, Sinclair

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Milo J. Thatch, 1 for Princess Kida, ½ for Cookie/Moliere/Packard/Ramirez/Santorini/Sweet, and ½ for Rourke and Sinclair.

This movie was fun. A solid animated adventure movie, which Disney does not have many of. Milo J. Thatch is a smart guy and does a good job protecting the lost city of Atlantis. Princess Kida is a strong woman and great leader of her people. The six-person crew of Cookie, Moliere, Packard, Ramirez, Santorini, and Sweet all chip in to help the mission succeed. Commander Rourke and Sinclair aren’t necessarily bad people, but their intentions for Atlantis are not in the best interests of the city. No music in this movie.

I remember looking at the movie poster (with a friend) when this movie came out and trying to predict the entire plot of the movie just based on the look of the characters. I think we were about 95% correct on everything. It should be just as easy to predict this movie’s fate in the bracket ... but Michael J. Fox (I mean Milo J. Thatch) has surprised us all before.

Groove is in the heart

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

Rated: G

Runtime: 78 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Emperor Kuzco

Sidekicks: Pacha, Chicha, Chaca, Tipo, Squirrel

Villain: Yzma, Kronk

Music: “Kronk’s Theme Music”, “Perfect World”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Kuzco, 1 for Kronk, 1 for Yzma, and ½ for “Kronk’s Theme Music”.

Arguably Disney’s funniest animated adventure. Ever. The jokes are really funny and they don’t get old. Kuzco is hilarious and a good guy deep down. Pacha is sweet and loves his family. Yzma is a great villainess: funny and evil. Kronk steals the show. He might be the best Disney sidekick of all time. He speaks squirrel, and even has his own theme music. Unfortunately, there is not any other music in the film to write about. Rumor has it this was supposed to be a musical led by Sting.... I’m glad it wasn’t.

This is an extremely underrated Disney movie. I remember everyone really liking it when it was in theaters, and people still talk about it being funny today. For some strange reason it is quite loved by the ladies. I think it will be a popular choice in the bracket. It will be a tough road, but as Kuzco would say: “Bring it on!”

Land of the Lost

Dinosaur (2000)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 82 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Neera

Prince/Hero: Aladar

Sidekicks: Baylene, Bruton, Eema, Kron, Plio, Suri, Url, Yar, Zini

Villain: Carnotaurus, Velociraptor

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ears. ½ for Aladar, ½ for Neera, ½ for Baylene/Bruton/Eema/Kron/Plio/Suri/Url/Yar/Zini, and ½ for the Carnotarus/Velociraptor.

At times this was a visually beautiful movie. Other times it was creepy. Aladar was a good hero and he saved the day. Neera kept Aladar going in the right direction. Yar, Plio, Suri, and Zini were a great “family” for Aladar; Baylene and Eema were good friends. Kron was just a grumpy old man. The Carnotarus and the Velociraptor were mean and scary. There were no musical numbers, which is good because I think it would have been weird to see dinosaurs sing.

I was hoping for a fun movie, but I was left disappointed. This movie definitely would have been left out of the Ross Geller Dinosaur Box Set. I can only think of 2 movies that would definitely have to be in the set: Jurassic Park and The Land Before Time. If anyone can think of any others, let me know. In the meantime, don’t expect this movie to do well in the bracket.

Classical Music 2: Electric Boogaloo

Fantasia 2000 (1999)

Rated: G

Runtime: 75 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Daisy Duck

Prince/Hero: Donald Duck

Sidekicks: ballerina, tin soldier

Villain: firebird, jack-in-the-box

Music: “The Carnival of the Animals, Finale”, “Piano Concerto No. 2 in F major”, “Pines of Rome”, Pomp and Circumstance – Marches 1, 2, 3 and 4”, “Rhapsody in Blue”, “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”, “Symphony No. 5 in C minor”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ears. 1 for Donald and Daisy Duck, 1 for the ballerina and tin soldier, 1 for the firebird and jack-in-the-box, and 1 for the music.

Since The Sorcerer’s Apprentice was in the original Fantasia, I will concentrate on the new stuff. Donald and Daisy Duck were a fun and cute pair in their version of Noah’s Ark. Again, there were lots of “sidekicks” in the movie (flamingos, whales, a spring sprite, and an elk), but my favorites were the ballerina and the tin soldier. Their story was romantic and sweet. There were two villains in the movie: a firebird and a jack-in-the-box ... both creepy and terrifying.

Like the original, this movie is also big with its musical stars: Beethoven, Dukas, Elgar, Gershwin, Respighi, Saint-Saens, Shostakovich, and Stravinsky. I think I like Fantasia better, because, well, it’s the original. But this one is a lot of fun with something for everyone. It might do well in the bracket, just not as good as the original.

Terk Terkleton

Tarzan (1999)

Rated: G

Runtime: 88 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Jane

Prince/Hero: Tarzan

Sidekicks: Terk, Tantor, Kala, Kerchak, Professor Porter

Villain: Clayton, Sabor

Music: “Son of Man”, “Strangers Like Me”, “Trashin’ the Camp”, “Two Worlds”, “You’ll Be in My Heart”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Tarzan, 1 for Jane, and 1 for “You’ll Be in My Heart”.

Hmmm ... this movie could have been something special. The jungle looked amazing and Tarzan was quite the handsome hero. Jane is a great match for him and the choice of Minnie Driver for the voice was perfect. Tarzan’s “parents” Kala and Kerchak are good, but Terk is a really annoying sidekick and Clayton is a sleazy villain. But all would have been ok if it wasn’t for all the Phil Collins songs. “You’ll Be in My Heart” is great, but all the others ruin the scenes they are in. Oh Phil, you were good when I was in junior high, but now ...

A decent jungle adventure with some terrifying moments and scenes that make you cry. Where The Jungle Book succeeds, this one falls a bit short. I like it but I wish it was better. It might only be around a short time in the bracket. Then it will have to spend the rest of its time picking up after “Trashin’ the Camp” ...

The girl who saved the world

Mulan (1998)

Rated: G

Runtime: 88 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Mulan

Prince/Hero: Ping

Sidekicks: Mushu, Cri-Kee, Li Shang, Chien-Po, Ling, Yao, Zhou

Villain: Shan Yu

Music: “A Girl Worth Fighting For”, “Honor to Us All”, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”, “Reflection”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Mulan, 1 for Ping, 1 for Mushu/Cri-Kee/Li Shang/Chien-Po/Ling/Yao, 1 for Shan Yu, and 1 for the music.

I am tempted to make a Mulan/Larry Bird comparison, but I am not sure the world is ready ... and I don’t feel like writing 1,000 words today. Mulan is one of the few so far that can balance Princess/Heroine awesomeness. Ping never gives up and isn’t afraid of anyone or anything. Mushu and Cri-Kee are funny; Chien-Po, Ling, and Yao are great warriors; Li Shang looks good with his shirt off. Shan Yu is a terrifying bully. “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”, and “Reflection” are great, and there are just the right amount of songs.

Yeah I know Mulan/Ping are the same person, but they are 2 different characters. Which is what makes Mulan so kick-ass. I don’t think there is another Disney female that could have pulled off double-duty: like Larry Bird had to do when his teammates were having bad games. Mulan just might single-handedly carry this movie to greater heights than anyone would have expected.

Sunny in Phil-adelphia

Hercules (1997)

Rated: G

Runtime: 93 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Megara

Prince/Hero: Hercules

Sidekicks: Philoctetes, Pegasus, Zeus, the Muses

Villain: Hades, Pain, Panic

Music: “Go the Distance”, “The Gospel Truth”, “I Won’t Say (I’m in Love), “One Last Hope” “A Star is Born”, “Zero to Hero”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ½ ears. 1 for Megara, 1 for Hercules, ½ for Philoctetes/Pegasus, 1 for Hades, and 1 for the music.

I think this is one of the more underrated Disney movies. Hercules is a great hero, never gives up, and will sacrifice himself for others. Megara, even with her troubled past, is sweet and has a great voice. Philoctetes has his moments, and Pegasus is funny. Hades is a tremendous villain. He balances humor, wit, and evilness as well as anyone. The music is fun; two high-level songs in “Go the Distance” and “I Won’t Say (I’m in Love”) ... the latter in which Megara absolutely shines in.

I love how they keep referring to Hercules as “Wonderboy”. They are probably curious to know the secrets of his powers. I hope that people have seen this movie and liked it. If not they are missing out. Megara is awesome. It might sneak up on people in the bracket, so do your research ... and by that I mean watch this movie!