Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Rating: R

Runtime: 90 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 65 million (approximately)

Characters: Brad Hamilton, Stacy Hamilton, Linda Barrett, Mark “Rat” Ratner, Mike Damone, Jeff Spicoli, Charles Jefferson, Arnold, Mr. Hand, Mr. Vargus, Ron Johnson

Cool Stuff: Jefferson’s car (1979 Chevrolet Camaro Z28)

Cool Music: Good soundtrack but no one stand out song

Cool Quote: “Hey bud, let’s party.”

Sex ... check. Drugs ... check. Rock and roll ... check. This movie has it all. I think one of the reasons I never saw this as a teenager is because I was not into any of those things at the time. This movie also has a lot of characters, hitting all the high school cliques: nerds, cheerleaders, stoners, and jocks. It even has a teacher you would like and one you wouldn’t like. I found most of the characters unlikeable (Damone, Arnold, Ron Johnson, to name a few). Jefferson was my favorite, mostly because he didn’t say much, but Brad was probably the one I was most like in school.

There were lots of classic songs in the movie: “American Girl”, “Kashmir”. Somebody’s Baby”, and “We Got the Beat” (my second favorite ’80s song ever). But none of them really stood out as a song you could say was the definitive song from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. As far as cool stuff is concerned, my friend Andy will appreciate my pointing out a car as the most awesome thing in the movie. Jefferson’s 1979 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 was the prize possession and even played a part in Ridgemont defeating Lincoln High in the big football game.

Probably the two most talked about things involving this movie are the Brad/Linda pool scene and Jeff Spicoli. Like I said before, I was not having sex or doing drugs in high school so after seeing the movie when I was in my late twenties, that scene and Spicoli didn’t really do anything for me. If I had seen it when I was 16 ... I would probably have appreciated the tasty waves and the cool buzz, if you know what I mean.

One thing I find funny about this movie is that even with all the young talent involved (Phoebe Cates, Anthony Edwards, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Sean Penn, Judge Reinhold, Eric Stoltz, and Forest Whitaker), people always bring up the fact that Nicolas Cage was in the movie for about 12 seconds.

Next movie to review: The Dark Crystal

Johnny Beeeee Goooood

E.T. (1982)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 115 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 866 million (approximately)

Characters: E.T., Elliott, Michael, Gertie, Mary, Greg, Steve, Tyler, Keys, Harvey, Science Class Girl

Cool Stuff: Reese’s Pieces, E.T.’s ship, E.T.’s flower

Cool Music: E.T. and Elliott flying theme

Cool Quote: “E.T. phone home.”

I am pretty sure this is the first VHS tape my brother Tod and I ever owned. We only had a handful by the time we got in our teens, so it’s safe to say I watched this several times as a kid. I have received mixed reviews as I have mentioned this being on my list of movies the past few months. I don’t understand the hate. E.T. is a bit scary at first but then you realize he is just as scared of you. He does all sorts of fun things throughout the movie: drink beer, dress in drag, and heal wounds.

Elliott is just a young kid trying to fit in. His dad isn’t at home, and he yells weird things like “penis breath!” But he turns out to be the hero after his science class rescue mission and he gets the girl. His brother Michael seems pretty cool and has a great trio of friends in Greg, Steve, and Tyler. His sister Gertie is a little annoying, but she’s also funny. Mary (his mom), does a great job holding the family together being a single mom and all and they have a cool dog named Harvey. There is a creepy guy named “Keys” who gets less creepy as the movie goes on.

I like candy, so Reese’s Pieces being such a big part of the movie is cool with me. E.T.’s ship appears to be a great flying machine, and the flower he keeps bringing back to life is an added treat. But the coolest thing in the movie is definitely the scene where E.T. and Elliott fly the bike in front of the moon. The music is fantastic and it is such a classic movie moment. E.T. picks up the English language pretty quickly thanks to Gertie, so his “E.T. phone home” wins cool quote, just edging out “I’ll be right here.”

I had an interesting thought watching the movie this time that somehow I never had before: I think E.T. had a plan all along to get back home, so I would say he totally Keyser Soze’d everyone by pretending to be dead to get the feds off his back.

Next movie to review: Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Whip it good

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 115 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 543 million (approximately)

Characters: Indiana Jones, Marion Ravenwood, Sallah, Dr. Rene Belloq, Major Arnold Toht

Cool Stuff: Indiana Jones’s hat and whip, Marion’s medallion, The Ark of the Covenant

Cool Music: Indiana Jones Theme

Cool Quote: “Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?”

I know, I know, another Harrison Ford movie. I made a rule to limit an actor/actress to one movie, but Harrison Ford is more of a supporting actor in The Empire Strikes Back (’80s movie #1 reviewed) and Return of the Jedi (soon to be ’80s movie #8 reviewed). Raiders of the Lost Ark has the lead actor role that he is (and should be) best known for. I make the rules, and this movie definitely does, well, rule! There are several classic scenes (the rolling boulder, the sword/gun fight scene, the giant guy/plane fight scene, the opening of the Ark/all the bad guys die scene), and of course, our hero Indiana Jones.

Indy is the tough, handsome professor that all his female students adore. Looking sharp in that hat and wielding his weapon of choice (a whip) is probably why Marion fell for him in the first place. Marion is a great companion for Dr. Jones, and can outdrink her share of men. I would say her toughest challenger would be my friend Shaunna. If I could only get those two ladies in the same room at the same time, the battle would be legendary! Sallah is a great digging partner and good friend. Dr. Rene Belloq is a jerk, and Major Arnold Thot is a creepy, creepy man.

Indy’s hat and whip are the coolest things in the movie, but Marion’s medallion and the Ark (of course) are pretty neat too. I imagine the medallion wasn’t the easiest thing to wear around your neck, but it looked really cool. The Ark was just one bad mutha that definitely needed to be put in a box and locked away. Indiana Jones’s theme music is as recognizable as any and really gets me fired up to go adventuring ... unless there be snakes around!

A fantastic movie adventure that is considered to be one of the greatest of all time. It was followed by a violent Temple of Doom, an endearing Last Crusade, and a movie who must not be named.

Next movie to review: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial