Not Penny's Movie

The Rescuers Down Under (1990)

Rated: G

Runtime: 77 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Miss Bianca

Prince/Hero: Bernard

Sidekicks: Cody, Wilbur, Jake, Marahute

Villain: McLeach, Joanna

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 1 ear. For the eagle. All you need to know.

I had high hopes for the original movie. I had higher hopes for this one after I heard it had an awesome eagle. Unfortunately, the eagle was not enough. The tandem of Miss Bianca and Bernard were the same not-that-great duo. The eagle, though awesome, wasn’t in the movie that much. McLeach was a very boring villain. The only positive thing was that this movie, unlike the original, didn’t have any uncomfortable songs that I had to listen to.

I had read positive reviews online, just like the original received. I don’t understand what these people were watching or if they just have a low expectation of movies. The Rescuers or The Rescuers Down Under might somehow sneak into the bracket but there is no way they will do well ... right?

It's hotter under the water

The Little Mermaid (1989)

Rated: G

Runtime: 83 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Ariel

Prince/Hero: Prince Eric

Sidekicks: Sebastian, Flounder, Scuttle, Max

Villain: Ursula, Flotsam, Jetsam

Music: “Kiss the Girl”, “Les Poissons”, “Part of Your World”, “Poor Unfortunate Souls”, “Under the Sea”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Ariel, 1 for Prince Eric, 1 for Sebastian/Flounder, 1 for Ursula, and 1 for the music. Finally a movie to earn 1 ear for each category!

Wow. This movie is so good. After all these years it still holds up. Ariel is a great role model and she collects cool stuff. Prince Eric is loyal to his dog Max. Sebastian knows how to jam, and Flounder, though sometimes scared, is always by Ariel’s side. Ursula is absolutely evil. The music ... 4 great songs that rival almost any Disney song up to this movie. This movie is pretty much flawless. And it got people back in the theaters watching animated movies. Huge deal for Salty Chewbacca ... and for kids of all ages.

I am pretty sure this will be a popular pick in the bracket and it should be. It hits high marks in all categories, and is fun and scary. Oh, and my girlfriend cried like every 5 minutes which means I probably cried too ... probably. Don’t be afraid to pick this gem to go a long way in the tournament ... or cry.

New York State of Mind

Oliver & Company (1988)

Rated: G

Runtime: 74 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Jenny

Prince/Hero: Oliver, Dodger

Sidekicks: Fagin, Einstein, Francis, Georgette, Rita, Tito, Winston

Villain: Sykes, Roscoe, DeSoto

Music: “Good Company”, “Once Upon a Time in New York City”, “Perfect Isn’t Easy”, “Streets of Gold, “Why Should I Worry”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ears. 1 for Oliver/Dodger, and 1 for Einstein/Francis/Georgette/Rita/Tito.

Oh Billy Joel.... Has he ever done anything that is really good? Jenny is ok as the rich girl that takes Oliver in. Oliver and Dodger are a decent duo that knows their way around a hot dog stand. Einstein, Francis, Georgette, Rita, and Tito are a good way to round out your gang. Sykes ... well, he has huge hands. The music is catchy, but in a bad way. The songs are not that good, yet you can’t get them out of your head. With all this not-so-goodness, it’s hard to see how this movie has such a big following.

This was a disappointing start to the second half of the 52 Disney movie adventure. I am guessing the higher-up people spent the summer discussing how to make Disney movies better for the upcoming decade. This movie probably won’t do well in the bracket. Sorry Billy Joel, you will have to stick to your day job ... unfortunately.

221B Baker Street

The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

Rated: G

Runtime: 74 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Olivia Flaversham

Prince/Hero: Basil

Sidekicks: Dr. David Q. Dawson, Hiram, Toby

Villain: Professor Ratigan, Fidget, Felicia

Music: “Let Me Be Good To You”, “The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Olivia Flaversham, ½ for Basil, ½ for Dr. David Q. Dawson, 1 for Professor Ratigan, and ½ for the music.

This is the best mouse detective movie ever; it’s a fantastic adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. Basil is really funny and smart. Olivia is cute and sweet. Dawson is great as Basil’s partner. Professor Ratigan is a fun yet evil villain. The music is pretty good; “The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind” is a decent song for the bad guys, and “Let Me Be Good To You” is a bit naughty. It was an all-around good movie that should have received higher praise than The Rescuers.

I like me a good Sherlock story. I am excited that I am officially halfway to my goal of 52 Disney movies in a year. The next 3 ½ months are going to be crazy as I watch 26 more movies and get ready for the bracket challenge. As for this film, it is extremely underrated and I hope that it catches a few breaks in the bracket.

Fflewddur Fflam!!!

The Black Cauldron (1985)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 80 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Princess Eilonwy

Prince/Hero: Taran

Sidekicks: Hen Wen, Gurgi, Dallben, Fflewddur Fflam, Doli

Villain: Horned King, Creeper, Orddu, Orwen, Orgoch

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. ½ for Taran, ½ for Princess Eilonwy, 1 for Hen Wen, and 1 for the Horned King.

This movie is terrifying, earning a well-deserved PG rating—the first for a Disney animated film. Taran is the hero, but he is always losing track of his main goal. Princess Eilonwy does a good job keeping him headed in the right direction. Gurgi, Dallben, Fflewddur Fflam, and Doli play their roles well, but Hen Wen is great, though a little under-used ... being the one that knows the secret resting place of the black cauldron and all. The Horned King is spooky; Creeper and the three witches are ok.

This movie doesn’t really feel like a Disney movie; there is only instrumental music ... no singing. It also is heavy on the Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Harry Potter references. George Lucas and J.K. Rowling were definitely huge fans of the books this was based on. I appreciate the movie taking a risk on scaring its audience, so it might do better than expected in the bracket.

Thank you for being a friend

The Fox and the Hound (1981)

Rated: G

Runtime: 83 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Vixey

Prince/Hero: Tod, Copper

Sidekicks: Big Mama, Boomer, Dinky, Widow Tweed

Villain: Amos Slade, Chief

Music: “Best of Friends”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. ½ for Vixey, 1 for Tod/Copper, ½ for Big Mama/Boomer/Dinky/Widow Tweed, ½ for Amos Slade/Chief, 1 for “Best of Friends.

This movie scared me/made me cry. And I hear the book is more terrifying/sad. Tod and Copper are cute and have lots of fun together, but then sadly can’t be pals anymore. Big Mama, Boomer, Dinky, and Widow Tweed are very caring; Vixey is a good girl to have by your side after you lose your best friend. Amos Slade is a bad man, and Chief is mean, mostly because Amos made him that way. “Best of Friends” is the only song worth mentioning; it is really good and captures the mood of the movie.

From start to finish, I think this is by far Disney’s saddest movie. Dumbo and Bambi had their moments, but my girlfriend cried for basically 83 minutes ... and then hugged our cat for a while. The friendship between two unlikely animals and the sentimentality should give this movie a “root for the underdog” status in the bracket.

Gabor-ing

The Rescuers (1977)

Rated: G

Runtime: 77 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Miss Bianca

Prince/Hero: Bernard

Sidekicks: Evinrude, Orville, Penny, Rufus

Villain: Madame Medusa, Mr. Snoops, Brutus, Nero

Music: “The Journey”, “Rescue Aid Society”, “Someone’s Waiting for You”, “Tomorrow is Another Day”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ½ ears. ½ for Miss Bianca, ½ for Bernard, 1 for Rufus, and ½ for Madame Medusa.

Hmmm. Unexpectedly bad. I thought it would be a fun adventure. But it was not good on so many levels. Miss Bianca and Bernard were an ok tandem. Madame Medusa was a poor man’s poor Cruella de Vil. The music made me uncomfortable and want to turn it off. The best part of the movie was Rufus the cat. I am not sure how this movie got such a high rating. I can’t believe they made a sequel. At least I am one movie closer to the better ones.

I don’t think there is a middle ground to take on this movie. You probably love it or hate it. I don’t like to use the word hate (especially about Disney-related things), but I am definitely leaning that way. You have to watch it to say you did, but I don’t think many people will pick it in the bracket.

O Bother, Where Art Thou

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)

Rated: G

Runtime: 74 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Winnie the Pooh

Sidekicks: Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Gopher, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, Tigger

Villain: none

Music: “Heffalumps and Woozles”, “Hip Hip Pooh-Ray”, “Little Black Rain Cloud”, “A Rather Blustery Day”, “Rumbly in My Tumbly”, “Up, Down and Touch the Ground”, “When the Rain Rain Rain Came Down”, “Winnie the Pooh”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Winnie the Pooh, 1 for all of Pooh’s friends, ½ for “Heffalumps and Woozles, and 1 for my ability to compare Pooh and his gang to the Wu-Tang Clan.

Lots of fun is to be had following Pooh and his friends on their adventures. Winnie the Pooh is a great leader, he just needs to keep his head out of the honey pot. Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Gopher, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, and Tigger all play their roles fantastically. No princess/heroine or villain; but that’s ok for a film like this. There are a lot of ok songs; “Heffalumps and Woozles” is probably the best ... it sounds like a scary circus tune. It’s that generation’s “Pink Elephants on Parade”.

I had a great idea of writing a paper comparing Winnie the Pooh and his friends to the rap group Wu-Tang Clan. The basis of it is that they are both successful groups that have worked together on occasion, but break apart and release solo efforts to great acclaim. The abundance of good characters around Winnie the Pooh should help this movie in the bracket.