Fflewddur Fflam!!!

The Black Cauldron (1985)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 80 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Princess Eilonwy

Prince/Hero: Taran

Sidekicks: Hen Wen, Gurgi, Dallben, Fflewddur Fflam, Doli

Villain: Horned King, Creeper, Orddu, Orwen, Orgoch

Music: none

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. ½ for Taran, ½ for Princess Eilonwy, 1 for Hen Wen, and 1 for the Horned King.

This movie is terrifying, earning a well-deserved PG rating—the first for a Disney animated film. Taran is the hero, but he is always losing track of his main goal. Princess Eilonwy does a good job keeping him headed in the right direction. Gurgi, Dallben, Fflewddur Fflam, and Doli play their roles well, but Hen Wen is great, though a little under-used ... being the one that knows the secret resting place of the black cauldron and all. The Horned King is spooky; Creeper and the three witches are ok.

This movie doesn’t really feel like a Disney movie; there is only instrumental music ... no singing. It also is heavy on the Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Harry Potter references. George Lucas and J.K. Rowling were definitely huge fans of the books this was based on. I appreciate the movie taking a risk on scaring its audience, so it might do better than expected in the bracket.

Thank you for being a friend

The Fox and the Hound (1981)

Rated: G

Runtime: 83 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Vixey

Prince/Hero: Tod, Copper

Sidekicks: Big Mama, Boomer, Dinky, Widow Tweed

Villain: Amos Slade, Chief

Music: “Best of Friends”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. ½ for Vixey, 1 for Tod/Copper, ½ for Big Mama/Boomer/Dinky/Widow Tweed, ½ for Amos Slade/Chief, 1 for “Best of Friends.

This movie scared me/made me cry. And I hear the book is more terrifying/sad. Tod and Copper are cute and have lots of fun together, but then sadly can’t be pals anymore. Big Mama, Boomer, Dinky, and Widow Tweed are very caring; Vixey is a good girl to have by your side after you lose your best friend. Amos Slade is a bad man, and Chief is mean, mostly because Amos made him that way. “Best of Friends” is the only song worth mentioning; it is really good and captures the mood of the movie.

From start to finish, I think this is by far Disney’s saddest movie. Dumbo and Bambi had their moments, but my girlfriend cried for basically 83 minutes ... and then hugged our cat for a while. The friendship between two unlikely animals and the sentimentality should give this movie a “root for the underdog” status in the bracket.

Gabor-ing

The Rescuers (1977)

Rated: G

Runtime: 77 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Miss Bianca

Prince/Hero: Bernard

Sidekicks: Evinrude, Orville, Penny, Rufus

Villain: Madame Medusa, Mr. Snoops, Brutus, Nero

Music: “The Journey”, “Rescue Aid Society”, “Someone’s Waiting for You”, “Tomorrow is Another Day”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ½ ears. ½ for Miss Bianca, ½ for Bernard, 1 for Rufus, and ½ for Madame Medusa.

Hmmm. Unexpectedly bad. I thought it would be a fun adventure. But it was not good on so many levels. Miss Bianca and Bernard were an ok tandem. Madame Medusa was a poor man’s poor Cruella de Vil. The music made me uncomfortable and want to turn it off. The best part of the movie was Rufus the cat. I am not sure how this movie got such a high rating. I can’t believe they made a sequel. At least I am one movie closer to the better ones.

I don’t think there is a middle ground to take on this movie. You probably love it or hate it. I don’t like to use the word hate (especially about Disney-related things), but I am definitely leaning that way. You have to watch it to say you did, but I don’t think many people will pick it in the bracket.

O Bother, Where Art Thou

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)

Rated: G

Runtime: 74 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Winnie the Pooh

Sidekicks: Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Gopher, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, Tigger

Villain: none

Music: “Heffalumps and Woozles”, “Hip Hip Pooh-Ray”, “Little Black Rain Cloud”, “A Rather Blustery Day”, “Rumbly in My Tumbly”, “Up, Down and Touch the Ground”, “When the Rain Rain Rain Came Down”, “Winnie the Pooh”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ½ ears. 1 for Winnie the Pooh, 1 for all of Pooh’s friends, ½ for “Heffalumps and Woozles, and 1 for my ability to compare Pooh and his gang to the Wu-Tang Clan.

Lots of fun is to be had following Pooh and his friends on their adventures. Winnie the Pooh is a great leader, he just needs to keep his head out of the honey pot. Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Gopher, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, and Tigger all play their roles fantastically. No princess/heroine or villain; but that’s ok for a film like this. There are a lot of ok songs; “Heffalumps and Woozles” is probably the best ... it sounds like a scary circus tune. It’s that generation’s “Pink Elephants on Parade”.

I had a great idea of writing a paper comparing Winnie the Pooh and his friends to the rap group Wu-Tang Clan. The basis of it is that they are both successful groups that have worked together on occasion, but break apart and release solo efforts to great acclaim. The abundance of good characters around Winnie the Pooh should help this movie in the bracket.

Prince and the Revolution

Robin Hood (1973)

Rated: G

Runtime: 83 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Maid Marian

Prince/Hero: Robin Hood

Sidekicks: Little John, Friar Tuck, Lady Kluck, Skippy, Toby

Villain: Prince John, Sir Hiss, Sheriff of Nottingham

Music: “Love”, “Oo De Lally”, “The Phony King of England”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Robin Hood, 1 for Maid Marian, and 1 for the music.

Hollywood has tackled the legend of Robin Hood several times, and I would say this is solidly in the top 5. I will get to a ranking later. Many a girl I know has said that they had a crush on this foxy Robin Hood growing up. He is amazing and he does the “Sloppy Swish”. Maid Marian is pretty foxy too. Little John is an ok sidekick. Prince John is kind of a baby, much like Joffrey in Game of Thrones. The music is good; “Oo De Lally” is fun and “Love” is charming.

The top 5 Robin Hood movies: I would say the latest Robin Hood with Russell Crowe is #5. I’ve never seen The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938), so I will put it at #4. Robin Hood (Disney) at #3. Robin Hood: Men in Tights at #2. And behind the unstoppable Kevin Costner, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves at #1. Only Disney’s Robin Hood will be eligible for my bracket and it should do ok.

Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley

The Aristocats (1970)

Rated: G

Runtime: 78 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Duchess

Prince/Hero: Thomas O’Malley

Sidekicks: Berlioz, Marie, Toulouse, Madame Adelaide, Georges, Frou-Frou the horse, Roquefort the mouse, Lafayette, Napoleon, Abigail and Amelia Gabble, Scat Cat and his band

Villain: Edgar

Music: “The Aristocats”, “Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat”, “Scales and Arpeggios”, “Thomas O’Malley Cat”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ½ ears. ½ for Duchess, ½ for Thomas O’Malley, ½ for Berlioz/Marie/Toulouse, and 1 for “Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat”.

With around 15 different characters in this film, you would think at least one of them would stand out; but I can’t find one. Duchess and Thomas O’Malley were ok. Berlioz, Marie, and Toulouse were cute. Edgar falls far short of what Cruella de Vil accomplished 3 Disney movies prior. Everyone else in the movie is just there and mostly forgettable ... except for maybe Scat Cat and his band; they totally rock in one of the better Disney songs to date: “Ev’rybody Wants to Be a Cat”.

I am not sure what else I can say about this movie. It’s a bunch of poppycock. I think it begins a rough stretch of Disney movies throughout the ’70s and continues into the late ’80s. But I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel ... or perhaps under the sea??? This movie will definitely have a short run in the bracket, if it makes it at all.

Jungle Boogie

The Jungle Book (1967)

Rated: G

Runtime: 78 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Mowgli

Sidekicks: Bagheera, Baloo, Colonel Hathi, King Louie

Villain: Kaa, Shere Kahn

Music: “The Bare Necessities”, “Colonel Hathi’s March”, “I Wan’na Be Like You”, “My Own Home”, “That’s What Friends Are For”, “Trust in Me”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ½ ears. 1 for Mowgli, 1 for Bagheera/Baloo/Colonel Hathi/King Louie, 1 for Shere Kahn, and 1 ½ for two awesome songs.

After years of somehow avoiding seeing this movie (several times my former boss Rebecca played this move at work), a Salty review is finally here! Sadly there is no princess ... but Mowgli is a fun little man cub. He is surrounded by several strong characters: Bagheera the panther, Baloo the bear, Colonel Hathi the elephant, and King Louie the orangutan. Kaa the python is a great mini-villain, but he is overshadowed by the awesomeness of Shere Kahn the tiger. The music is fantastic, with two top-tier songs: “The Bare Necessities” and “I Wan’na Be Like You”.

I wish I had seen this movie as a kid. It was one of the best ones I have seen so far. Oh, and Mowgli does “The Sloppy Swish” which hadn’t happened in a while, so that was cool. Lots of great things happen in this movie and should help it perform well in the bracket. And now I can talk about this movie with all the cool kids!