Dad-Dad-Daddy-Nooooo!!!

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 124 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 593 million (approximately)

Characters: Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, R2-D2, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Lando Calrissian, Darth Vader, Boba Fett, Emperor Palpatine

Cool Stuff: AT-AT Walkers, Carbonite, Lightsabers, Millennium Falcon

Cool Music: Opening Theme, Darth Vader’s Theme

Cool Quote: “I am your father.”

So ... what makes a great eighties movie? I had a hard time answering that question. But I think I narrowed it down to the essential qualities: cool characters, cool stuff, cool music, cool quote ... and something that you could probably qualify as an “it” factor: its importance to the eighties. So here is my first review.

I have to admit, I cheated and watched Star Wars before I watched The Empire Strikes Back. I wanted to get a good idea of the trilogy because I would be reviewing both The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi in this year’s tournament. Star Wars is probably my favorite, so I am glad that I don’t have to choose it against the other two in my bracket this year.

Ok, now that all that is said ... to the review. Empire (I am going to call it that to save time) is pretty awesome. The whole gang is back from the first movie ... mostly. The stormtroopers are not in it as much (sorry, Garth). Grand Moff Tarkin and the Death Star didn’t make the sequel either, but we got some cool new characters and weapons. Yoda is my favorite and Lando Calrissian is pretty smooth. Boba Fett and Emperor Palpatine fill in nicely for the losses from Star Wars, and the AT-AT Walkers are fantastic. Oh, and we are introduced to carbonite!

We are all familiar with the opening theme to the movie, and every time Darth Vader enters a room he has his own music. Both songs are still cool today. Han Solo and Yoda both have many, many quotable lines, but when Darth Vader cuts of Luke’s hand and reveals his deep dark secret, his line steals the movie ... and leads to possibly one of the greatest, if not the greatest, movie twists of all time!

So yeah, a great way to kick off the eighties reviews and I look forward to Jedi and seeing how the two compare through Salty’s eyes ...

Next movie to review: The Blues Brothers

The Essential Eighties

Salty Chewbacca is back!

When it comes to movies, trilogies are always the best. After a successful first tournament in 2013, in which Hoosiers defeated Teen Wolf to claim greatest basketball movie of all time, and an even more successful second tournament in 2014 where The Little Mermaid defeated Beauty and the Beast to earn greatest Disney Movie of all time ... my third tournament is here to decide which is the greatest eighties movie of all time.*

Well ... more like 2^nd greatest eighties movie of all time. In my opinion, Back to the Future is the greatest eighties movie ever; it’s probably one of the best movies ever. So when deciding which 32 movies I was going to watch and review to determine a champion, I decided to leave Back to the Future out. I would have a hard time being fair to the other 31 movies, and everyone would have known I would choose it as the tournament favorite.

As you read my reviews you may think I have left some of your favorites out. It was really hard to narrow the list down to 32. I decided to leave the most critically acclaimed movies of the decade out because I feel like you could do a bracket just including those; so no Do the Right Thing, Platoon, Raging Bull.... I also decided to keep it light and not scary, to make it family friendly; so no Dead Poets Society, Stand By Me, Big ...

So then the list got a little smaller. I then figured I would try to limit one movie per huge actor/actress. Harrison Ford and Eddie Murphy could have had several movies each, so I tried to pick the one that represented them best. So no Blade Runner or Coming to America. I also left out some of my girlfriend Rebecca’s favorites so I would not be tempted to advance those movies in the bracket to make her happy. So no Big Trouble in Little China, The Thing, or The Last Unicorn.

After that the list was easy to make. Oh, and I decided not to include Hoosiers or The Little Mermaid, even though they are both deserving; they both already had their one shining moment in past blogs/tournaments. I feel like it is a well-rounded list, including movies from all different genres.... Except I realized after making my final cuts, I had no John Cusack movie! But don’t be sad ... next year may be an all John Cusack blog/tournament!!!!!

So let the reviews begin, and let the excitement build to what I hope is the best Salty Chewbacca Tournament Challenge ever!

Wrecks-n-Effect

Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 101 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Vanellope von Schweetz

Prince/Hero: Wreck-It Ralph

Sidekicks: Fix-It Felix, Jr., Sergeant Calhoun

Villain: King Candy

Music: “Shut Up and Drive”, “Sugar Rush”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ears. 1 for Wreck-It Ralph, 1 for Vanellope von Schweetz, 1 for Fix-It Felix, Jr. and Sergeant Calhoun, ½ for King Candy, and ½ for “Sugar Rush”.

The last movie on my list to watch! It was much better than I had thought it was going to be. Wreck-It Ralph is a “bad guy”, but he is really a good guy at heart. Vanellope von Schweetz is a sweet girl with a bit of sass. Fix-It Felix, Jr. and Sergeant Calhoun are a great pair of sidekicks. King Candy is a mean, grumpy man. “Sugar Rush” is a super fun song that plays when we are introduced to the world of candy-car racing. One of the funnier Disney films I have seen.

I was expecting this movie to be a series of bad jokes and overloaded with videogame cameos, but it is a great movie for all ages. The characters are all good and the movie is visually amazing. And Q*bert is in it a lot! So now that I have watched all 52 movies, my tournament can begin. Look for this movie to do well for it is the latest and most in people’s memory.

Honey Pot 2: Electric Boogaloo

Winnie the Pooh (2011)

Rating: G

Runtime: 63 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Winnie the Pooh

Sidekicks: Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, Tigger

Villain: none

Music: “A Very Important Thing to Do”, “The Backson Song”, “Everything is Honey”, “It’s Gonna Be Great”, “The Tummy Song”, “Winnie the Pooh”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 2 ½ ears. 1 for Winnie the Pooh, 1 for all of Pooh’s friends, and ½ for “Everything is Honey”.

The Wu-Tang, I mean the Pooh-Gang is back for another crazy adventure. The usual suspects are here except for Gopher. Winnie the Pooh (the leader) is great, balancing his love for his friends with his love of honey. Eeyore, Kanga, Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo, and Tigger are their usual selves. No princess/heroine or villain, which is typical for a Pooh movie/short. The music is ok, “Everything is Honey” is probably the best song. The movie is only 63 minutes long, so a lot happens in a short amount of time.

Good times are always had when watching Winnie the Pooh and his friends. Adventures are to be had, friendships are everywhere, and Pooh ends up with Christopher Robin in the end. For the most part nothing bad ever happens to anyone, so if this movie doesn’t make it far in the bracket it will be the most heartbreaking moment in Pooh’s career. But he’ll always have honey.

In like Flynn

Tangled (2010)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 100 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Rapunzel

Prince/Hero: Flynn Rider

Sidekicks: Pascal, Maximus

Villain: Mother Gothel

Music: “I See the Light”, “I’ve Got a Dream”, “Mother Knows Best”, “When Will My Life Begin”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ½ ears. 1 for Rapunzel, 1 for Flynn Ryder, ½ for Pascal/Maximus, 1 for Mother Gothel, and 1 for the music.

Even though there are only a handful of major characters, they all succeed in their roles. Rapunzel is a great heroine, and she wields a mean frying pan. Flynn Rider is handsome and a bit of a bad boy. Pascal and Maximus are good sidekicks for Rapunzel and Flynn. Mother Gothel is just plain evil. The music is fun, with “I See the Light” and “I’ve Got a Dream” being the best songs. This movie really hit it big and seems to be one of everyone’s favorite Disney movies in recent memory.

I really would have liked to have seen this movie hand-drawn to see what Rapunzel’s long hair would have looked like. But I think it looks just fine how it is. With all its popularity amongst my family and friends, it is sure to be one of the movies picked to go to the final four in my bracket tournament. But what will Salty Chewbacca pick it to do???

Froggy Frog World

The Princess and the Frog (2009)

Rating: G

Runtime: 97 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Tiana

Prince/Hero: Prince Naveen

Sidekicks: Charlotte, Louis, Mama Odie, Ray

Villain: Doctor Facilier, Lawrence

Music: “Almost There”, “Dig a Little Deeper”, “Down in New Orleans”, “Friends on the Other Side”, “Gonna Take You There”, “Ma Belle Evangeline”, “When We’re Human”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ½ ears. 1 for Tiana, ½ for Prince Naveen, 1 for Ray, 1 for Dr. Facilier, and 1 for the music.

This movie is underrated in my opinion. Tiana is great. She cooks, she sings, she does it all. Prince Naveen is a little cocky, but he is a good guy underneath it all. Charlotte is a good friend to Tiana, Louis can play the trumpet with the best, and Ray is a romantic at heart. Dr. Facilier reminds me of Prince and is spooky. The music is fantastic, with something for everyone. “Almost There” is sweet, “Dig a Little Deeper” is fun, “Friends on the Other Side” is terrifying, and “Ma Belle Evangeline” will make you cry.

I am glad Disney returned to hand-drawn animation for this movie, though they quickly returned to computer animation for the next film. I think it adds an extra bit of charm to this movie. I am also glad that an African-American princess was finally chosen, and did well at the box office. It should also do well in my bracket tournament that is so close to being ready! Only 3 movies to go ...

The Truman Show...for dogs

Bolt (2008)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 96 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Penny

Prince/Hero: Bolt

Sidekicks: Mittens, Rhino

Villain: Dr. Calico

Music: “Barking at the Moon”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Bolt, 1 for Mittens and Rhino, and 1 for the Jenny Lewis song “Barking at the Moon”

I like Jenny Lewis! Wait ... that was supposed to come later in the review. Penny is a good heroine, but she isn’t in the movie much. Bolt is a good dog and is loyal to his “person”. Mittens and Rhino are both funny and keep Bolt going through tough times. Dr. Calico is evil, but he shares the same fate as Penny: not in the movie enough. And he is only evil on the TV show. Ok, back to Jenny Lewis. She sings “Barking at the Moon”, a sweet song during a montage where Bolt, Mittens, and Rhino are trying to get to Hollywood.

Another solid movie for Disney. I like the relationship between Bolt and Penny, and Bolt and Mittens. A good thing about Penny not being in it much: Miley Cyrus does the voice. I think 96 minutes of hearing her talk would have driven me nuts. Depending on the matchup, this movie could win a game or not. Did I mention I like Jenny Lewis?