Hell Broke Luce

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

Rating: R

Runtime: 81 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 74 million (approximately)

Characters: Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, Sheila Broflovski, Gerald Broflovski, Ike Broflovski, Liane Cartman, Sharon Marsh, Randy Marsh, Shelly Marsh, Carol McCormick, Stuart McCormick, Big Gay Al, Chef, Christophe, Gregory, Mr. Garrison, Mr. Hat, Mr. Mackey, Wendy Testaburger, Terrance, Phillip, Satan, Saddam Hussein, Winona Ryder

Favorite Quote: “I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.”

Favorite Scene: Winona Ryder’s ping-pong ball trick

Favorite Character: Eric Cartman

Other need-to-see nineties movies directed by Trey Parker: Cannibal! The Musical

It all starts so innocently when the gang (Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman) go to see Asses of Fire starring Terrance and Phillip. The language, violence, and sex add up quickly over the 81 minutes of this movie … but what did you expect?? Most everyone is here from the show: Chef, Mr. Garrison, Mr. Hat, Mr. Mackey, Big Gay Al, Satan, Saddam Hussein, and even Winona Ryder!! Cartman is my favorite. He’s the worst of the bunch, but he’s the funniest. Speaking of funny: there are many quotes throughout the movie that it was hard to choose just one as my favorite. But like any quote from South Park, you end up laughing at something that is sometimes a terrible … in this case Mr. Garrison’s response of “I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.” Yikes.

The heart of this movie is its musical numbers. I could have chosen any of them to be my favorite scene. Terrance and Phillip’s “Uncle Fucka”, Mr. Mackey’s “It’s Easy, M’Kay”, the South Park moms’ “Blame Canada”, Cartman’s “Kyle’s Mom’s a Bitch”, the boys’ “What Would Brian Boitano Do?”, Satan’s “Up There”, Gregory’s “La Resistance”, Big Gay Al’s “I’m Super” … what do I pick?? None. Did you think I wouldn’t choose Winona Ryder’s ping-pong ball trick as my favorite scene?? You don’t know me at all.

I had a hard time deciding if there were any other movies from the nineties directed by Trey Parker that were worth watching. My criteria for this part of the review (and for my previous reviews) was if the movie’s IMDb or Rotten Tomatoes score was similar to the movie I was reviewing. Orgazmo and BASEketball have pretty good followings but their scores are low. Cannibal! The Musical has a good IMDb score but a bad Rotten Tomatoes score. But I feel that it is so ridiculous of a movie (bad or good) that you should watch it at least once.

Next movie to review: American Pie