E-I-E-I-NOOOOO

Home on the Range (2004)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 76 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Maggie

Prince/Hero: none

Sidekicks: Grace, Mrs. Calloway, Pearl, Audrey, Buck, Jeb, Junior, Larry, Lucky Jack, Ollie, Rusty

Villain: Alameda Slim, Rico, Wesley, The Willie Brothers

Music: “Little Patch of Heaven”, “Will the Sun Ever Shine Again”, “Yodle-Adle-Eedle-Idle-Oo”, “(You Ain’t) Home on the Range”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: ½ ear for Grace

If you thought Brother Bear was bad ... this was so much worse. I don’t even want to write about it. But I will. Maggie was a terrible character. I mean, seriously; Rosanne Barr’s voice was the best they could do? No prince/hero. Too many sidekicks and only one (Grace) was tolerable. As for villains ... a yodeling cowboy named Alameda Slim was someone’s genius idea. The music is forgettable, which at this point was pretty much expected. There, I survived and wrote almost a whole paragraph!

This was the last traditionally hand-drawn Disney movie until 2009. I love the old classics, so I will miss them, but if they are going to be as bad as this I won’t. This movie probably has the least chance of winning a “game” in the bracket. Oh, I wish there was a princess movie to watch next to get me excited about writing a review.