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Sunday, July 1, 2012

Selling those wieners



Celtic Pride (1996)

Rated: PG-13

Runtime: 91 minutes

Stars: Daniel Stern, Dan Aykroyd, Damon Wayans

Director: Tom DeCerchio

Plot: Mike O’Hara (Daniel Stern) and Jimmy Flaherty (Dan Aykroyd) are over-obsessed fans of the Boston Celtics. Mike is a gym teacher, former high school basketball star, and on the verge of getting a divorce; Jimmy is a plumber, single man, and avid sports memorabilia collector. After their beloved Celtics blow game 6 of the NBA finals, they make a plan to get Utah Jazz all-star/huge dick Lewis Scott (Damon Wayans) drunk so he will not be at his best for game 7. Craziness ensues and they end up kidnapping him.

Rating—out of 5 basketballs: 0

Tournament Seed: 16—team makes the tournament only because it is an automatic qualifier. Has no chance of advancing. Avoid picking for any reason.

For a movie written by Judd Apatow and Colin Quinn, I expected more laughs. The funniest thing I found about the movie was that the Celtics made it to the NBA Finals in 1996 with a starting-five consisting of 4 white guys and 1 African-American. The basketball scenes are ok at best, but mostly bad. The old shots of the Boston Garden brought back some really great memories, and Larry Bird made a cameo in the bar, which was mildly funny. There was a confusing scene where Dan Aykroyd’s character makes a half-court shot at halftime to win $100,000; it was unclear to me why this was needed in the film. The people in charge of the music for the film found it necessary to “Play That Funky Music” 3 times. And once again the star of the team realizes that passing the ball wins games. You would think that the obsessed fans would have learned their lesson that kidnapping is dangerous, but they don’t; the Super Bowl is only 7 months away and Deion Sanders is their next target …

I think the best scene in the movie is when Daniel Stern’s character is talking trash to Damon Wayan’s character. I am a huge fan of that stuff, yet I can never think of anything funny to say until it’s too late. I wish I had used this line back in the day:

Mike O’Hara: “Hey Scott … I hear Manute Bol is banging your mom!

1 comment:

  1. So by my count, this is the fifth 16 seed in a 32 team tournement. Will there be reseedings for the actual tournement?

    I saw this (on a vhs taped from NBC, complete with commercials) years ago. I remember thinking that Damon Wayans was miscast. He was really unathletic and completely unbelievable as a basketball player. Also, wasn't Shooter McGavin an asshole coach?

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