Smelter pride

Rebound (2005)

Rated: PG

Runtime: 103 minutes

Stars: Martin Lawrence, Horatio Sanz, Breckin Meyer, Megan Mullally, Patrick Warburton

Director: Steve Carr

Plot: Roy McCormick (Martin Lawrence) was a successful coach at Ohio Polytech University, but now he is all about endorsements and getting technical fouls. He gets banned from coaching in college after killing the other team’s bird mascot. After getting no offers, he gets a job coaching the Mount Vernon Smelters at his old junior high.

Rating—out of 5 basketballs: 1 basketball for its ability to be not good but not bad at the same time.

Tournament Seed: 13–15—movie hangs around with higher seed for the 1^st half, but the 2^nd half results in a blowout. Only advances in the tournament if matched up with an overrated team. Pick with caution.

This is an interesting movie. It is not funny. Its one big attempt at comedy (Martin Lawrence playing Preacher Don in a pregame pep talk to the kids) completely fails. The other adult characters are very boring; Horatio Sanz plays a nerdy home-economics teacher, Breckin Meyer a greedy agent, Megan Mullally an uncaring school principal, and Patrick Warburton an over-obsessive rival coach. The kids on the team cover all the stereotypical groups of kids in school: the jock, the prep, the clown, the geek, the fat kid, the bully, and the nerd. The music in the movie is just there for the sake of music; good tunes such as “Sweet Georgia Brown”, “Brick House”, “Eye of the Tiger”, “Hey Ya”, “Jump Around” “Sledgehammer”, “Unbelievable”, and “What’s Up Doc? (Can We Rock)” are used poorly in scenes. After Coach Roy begins to teach life lessons on/off the court, the team goes on a crazy winning streak all the way to the state finals, yet he almost gives up this job to get his old college job back. Oh, and the team wins (sort of). I was confused how Ralph was able to hit the game-winning free throws even though the ref was staring right at him as he stepped over the line on both shots. The team then becomes super cool and Coach becomes the new guidance counselor. So there is nothing too positive to say about this movie, but nothing too negative either. I walk away with nothing lost/nothing gained.

I did laugh at one scene involving Horatio Sanz (I have always found him funny). Coach Roy wants the “cool, pretty” girls to hang out in the gym so the team will play better; so he promises them pizza every day. Horatio’s character (the home-economics teacher) uses his culinary skills, and then delivers this great line:

Mr. Newirth: “There’s chicken parm in the crust ladies, so put your feedbags on.”