The Air Up
There (1994)
Rated: PG
Runtime: 107
minutes
Stars: Kevin
Bacon, Charles Gitonga Maina
Director: Paul
Michael Glaser
Plot: Jimmy
Dolan (Kevin Bacon) is a former college basketball star and current assistant
coach for the St. Joseph’s Bulls. The current head coach is retiring at the end
of the season and Dolan wants the job real bad. In a drunken haze while
watching someone’s home video, Dolan spots the next big star, Saleh (Charles
Gitonga Maina) a 6’8” African villager with an amazing vertical leap. Dolan
travels to Africa to recruit Saleh, but runs into several problems along the
way.
Rating—out of 5 basketballs: 1
basketball for the sweet ending.
Tournament
seed: 13–15—movie hangs
around with higher seed for the 1st half, but the 2nd
half results in a blowout. Only advances in the tournament if matched up with
an overrated team. Pick with caution.
I really
wanted this movie to be good. I watched it with a group of friends while
drinking Guinness and Kool-Aid and eating various things containing bacon. It
fell far short of my expectations. There wasn’t much basketball stuff until the
end, and when there was, it was mostly slow-motion dunking and Kevin Bacon
getting a boner over it. The music was stereotypical African beats, but there
was some nice scenery involving some giraffes and rhinos. The jokes were bad:
there was an Arsenio Hall reference, an interesting defensive strategy on
guarding a woman (grab her ass and boobs, that will work), and a scene where
Kevin Bacon is chased by a boar while trying to poop. The movie had some weird scenes
involving Kevin Bacon’s character adapting to the villagers’ way of life. It
all adds up to a showdown between the village’s newly formed basketball team and
the team of a shady land developer from the nearby town. The stakes? The
villagers’ land. Kevin Bacon gets to suit up in a uniform that makes him look
like the Ultimate Warrior (which is a huge step up from the polo shirts and short-shorts
he wore throughout). The game plan is simple: Kevin Bacon dribbles around and
then passes to Saleh for the dunk … but then Bacon hurts his knee. Enter Saleh’s
brother, who of course is just as good as Seleh. The comeback is on and it’s
time for a little “Jimmy Dolan Shake and Bake” from Saleh, who soars through the
air to dunk it for the win.
This is the
first movie that didn’t have a quote that stood out, but it did end the way all
movies should end; so I will put a picture of that here instead:
high five! great success!
I was one of those friends at the screening! The best part of the movie was easily the candied bacon and the death dip that was served prior to watching. They never explained why becoming part fo the tribe involved getting a big ass knife dragged accross your stomach just north of the pube line. And there was far too much nut on nut hugging in the final celebration. You throw some porn music in the background and Saleh got full on dry humped by Jimmy Dolan. Still, a fun night all around!
ReplyDeleteyeah the bacon will definately be remembered more than the Bacon. I think there should be a game called the six degrees of candied bacon. I would be more likely to play that one.
ReplyDelete