I Can't Wait To Get Off Work

Clerks (1994)

Rating: R

Runtime: 92 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 5 million (approximately)

Characters: Dante Hicks, Randal Graves, Veronica Loughran, Caitlin Bree, Jay, Silent Bob, Heather Jones, Rick Derris, William, Olaf, Chewlies Gum rep, Old Man, Egg Man, Jizz Mopper, Milk Maid, Cat, Dog

Favorite Quote: “I’m not even supposed to be here today.”

Favorites Scene: Silent Bob’s speech at the end about Veronica and lasagna

Favorite Character: Silent Bob

Other need-to-see nineties movies directed by Kevin Smith: Chasing Amy

Funny story ... I had never heard of this movie until after I saw Chasing Amy in 1997. This film pretty much sums up how I felt in the mid to late nineties working at a movie theater and the almost ten years working at a video store (like Randal!!): “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fuckin’ customers.” There is a lot of great dialogue (I never knew what it meant to snowball someone) and interesting characters throughout the movie: Dante (the slacker), Randal (the best friend), Veronica (the girlfriend), Caitlin (the ex-girlfriend), Heather Jones and Rick Derris (the “hey, I remember you from high school” people you always seem to run into), the Old Man, the Egg Man, the Jizz Mopper, and the Milk Maid.

Like I mentioned before, there is much great dialogue to choose from for favorite quote. There is a fantastic breakdown of Return of the Jedi, a shocking reveal of the girlfriend who sucked 37 dicks, and a song about Chewbacca ... what a Wookiee!! But I like the classic “I’m not even supposed to be here today”, which is said several times throughout the film by Dante (he who loves hockey and smells of shoe polish). Even though I mentioned several characters above, the two I didn’t mention, Jay and Silent Bob, are probably everybody’s favorite. I think me at age 21 loved Jay, but me at 41 loves Silent Bob. He doesn’t say much, but when he does it’s memorable. Dante thinks he has it all figured out, but Silent Bob (in my favorite scene) is the one who knows the meaning of life: someone who cares about you and brings you food is the one you should be with.

Clerks is the movie on my list that made the least amount of money at the box office, but I remember reading somewhere that it was the VHS most likely to be stolen from a video store. So it’s got that goin’ for it, which is nice.

Next movie to review: Clueless