As you wish

The Princess Bride (1987)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 98 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 63 million (approximately)

Characters: Westley, Buttercup, Inigo Montoya, Fezzik, Vizzini, Prince Humperdinck, Count Tyrone Rugen, The Albino, The Impressive Clergyman, Miracle Max, Valerie, Dread Pirate Roberts, Grandfather, Grandson

Cool Stuff: True love

Cool Music: “Storybook Love”

Cool Quote: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

I hate to admit it, but the first time I saw this movie I didn’t like it. I was 11, and I was sitting on the floor of a sold-out movie theater. I didn’t get the jokes, and the only person I knew from the movie was Andre the Giant. But now, I recognize its brilliance. It’s probably one of, if not the most quoted movie of all time, and there are enough characters for everyone to love: Westley (the handsome hero), Buttercup (the beautiful Princess), Inigo (the brokenhearted fighter), Fezzik (the gentle giant), Vizzini (the hilarious villain), and Grandson (the Fred Savage).

When you take away all the obstacles Westley has to overcome (the Dread Pirate Roberts, shrieking eels, cliffs of insanity, speed, strength, smarts, iocane powder, fire swamp, lightning sand, rodents of unusual size, pit of despair, and machine) you are left with the coolest thing from the movie: true love. Speaking of true love, the cool song from the movie is “Storybook Love”. It is a beautiful ballad that plays at the end of the movie during a montage. And everyone knows that montages are awesome.

As I said before, this movie is probably the most quoted of all time ... which made for a difficult choice for coolest quote. Well, not really. “Anybody want a peanut?”, “Inconceivable!”, and “Have fun storming the castle!” are all worthy contenders, but “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” is the clear winner. At least I think so. But everyone else will probably disagree.

I wish I could go back in time and tell 11-year-old Jeff, “Hey buddy, you should like this movie more. Seriously. You will be cooler if you do.” But I can’t. So I will just have to convince people now to like it. Which most people do anyway. I hope. Because this is not just a kissing movie, it’s adventure ... and comedy. And it has Andre the Giant ... and Fred Savage.

Next movie to review: Beetlejuice