Let Me Get Up On It

Boogie Nights (1997)

Rating: R

Runtime: 155 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 39 million (approximately)

Characters: Dirk Diggler, Jack Horner, Amber Waves, Rollergirl, Reed Rothchild, Becky Barnett, Buck Swope, Jessie St. Vincent, Johnny Doe, Kurt Longjohn, “Little” Bill Thompson, Scotty J, Todd Parker, The Colonel, Floyd Gondolli, Jerome, “Little” Bill’s wife, Maurice Rodriguez, Rahad Jackson, Sheryl Lynn

Favorite Quote: “My fucking wife has an ass in her cock in the driveway, Kurt.”

Favorite Scene: Buck’s Super Cool Stereo Store commercial

Favorite Character: Buck Swope

Other need-to-see nineties movies directed by Paul Thomas Anderson: Magnolia

This movie is definitely not for the younger Salty Chewbacca fans. I probably shouldn’t even be allowed to watch this movie. Sex ... check. Drugs ... check. Rock ‘n’ Roll ... check. More sex ... check. We will get to the rock ‘n’ roll later ... let’s start with the sex. Dirk Diggler is the new guy with the big dick. Jack Horner (the porn movie director) sees something special in Dirk and then sees Dirk inside of his porn-star wife, Amber Waves. There are many other characters in this movie that you get to know, because hey, someone’s got to hold the boom mic and write the script. Rollergirl is hot, Reed Rothchild is funny, “Little” Bill is depressing, and Scotty J is horny for Dirk. Buck Swope is my favorite. He is into dressing like a cowboy and stereo equipment. It isn’t until he ditches the Western look for a B-Boy Stance (my favorite scene) that he finally gets what he deserves.

There is a lot of great dialogue in the movie (seriously, I watched it for the dialogue). The best line in the movie is one I am not sure if it was done intentionally or not. “Little” Bill is talking to Kurt Longjohn at one of Jack’s cocaine and margarita parties when he sees his wife having sex (again) with another man. He seems distracted and says, “My fucking wife has an ass in her cock in the driveway, Kurt.” Was it scripted that way, or does he say the line wrong but it’s so funny that they kept it in?? Either way, it’s hilarious.

The only thing I enjoyed more than the porn-movie-inside-a-porn-movie characters Brock Landers and Chest Rockwell is the soundtrack. “Sister Christian” (one of the top 25 hair band songs ever), “Jessie’s Girl” (one of the top 25 ’80s songs ever), and “99 Luftballons” (my favorite song ever). It made me want to go down the sugar tree and see lots of bees, if you know what I mean.

Next movie to review: Good Will Hunting