Somebody Save Me

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

Rating: PG-13

Runtime: 103 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 149 million (approximately)

Characters: Ferris Bueller, Cameron Frye, Sloane Peterson, Edward Rooney, Jeanie Bueller, Grace, Mr. Economics Teacher, Tom Bueller, Katie Bueller, Guy in police station

Cool Stuff: 1961 Ferrari GT 250 California Spyder

Cool Music: Ferris sings a lot, but no cool music from this movie

Cool Quote: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

This is my friend Tonya’s favorite movie (I think).... I hope she likes my review. I am pretty sure she (and many other girls) had a crush on Ferris when they were younger. Which makes sense because girls always like bad boys with bad fashion sense. Ferris lies to his parents, skips school, borrows his best friend’s car (we will get back to that), gets his girlfriend out of class, says “Pardon my French” and swears a lot, pretends to be someone else to get a table at a restaurant, and then turns the Von Steuben Day Parade into a “Look at me, I’m a spoiled brat, listen to me sing ‘Danke Schoen’ and ‘Twist and Shout’” show. Why Cameron and Sloan would go along with him, I will never understand. Rooney and Grace are a funny duo, and my favorite character has always been Ferris’ sister Jeanie.

Ok, back to the car. In this movie, we get a 1961 Ferrari GT 250 California Spyder (the car Cameron’s father loves more than his son). It is a great car, but sadly, driving it in reverse does not turn back the odometer. The three kids drive the car all around town and take in a Cubs game at Wrigley Field and view some art at the Art Institute of Chicago. Lots of classic lines are said in the movie, everyone loves the “Bueller? ... Bueller? ... Bueller? ... Bueller? ...”, but I like the “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it” quote ... and so did Barbara Bush.

One theme the movie tackles that I really liked was what it is like to have good/bad parents. One thing the movie does that I don’t really like is when characters break the fourth wall ... which Ferris does a lot. So there is my review, how do you like it Tangs? ... Tangs? ... Tangs? ... Tangs?

Next movie to review: Labyrinth

Ye intruders beware

The Goonies (1985)

Rating: PG

Runtime: 114 minutes

Box Office (in today’s dollars): 133 million (approximately)

Characters: Mikey, Chunk, Data, Mouth, Brand, Andy, Stef, Sloth, Mama Fratelli, Francis Fratelli, Jake Fratelli, “One-Eyed” Willy, Chester Copperpot, Troy, Mr. Walsh, Mrs. Walsh, Rosalita

Cool Stuff: treasure map, 1632 doubloon, copper bones key

Cool Music: “The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough”

Cool Quote: “Goonies never say die!”

The 1985 Bears had “The Super Bowl Shuffle”; Chunk had “The Truffle Shuffle”. I think we all know which one was better. For a PG movie, it definitely had its share of the word “shit”, and I am pretty sure I could come up with several “booby traps” or “One-Eyed Willy” jokes. But I would rather focus on the movie and its ability to combine comedy, adventure, romance, and horror. Mikey, Chunk, Data, and Mouth get together for one last Goonie adventure to find the rich stuff and save their town. The great thing about this foursome is that they represent the small/chubby/nerd/punk kid in all of us when we were young. Sprinkle in a cool older brother (Brand), a pretty cheerleader (Andy), a dorky best friend (Stef), and a misunderstood superhero (Sloth), and you have got an unstoppable band of treasure hunters.

I think we all had a “treasure map” when we were kids and probably our own version of a “1632 doubloon” or a “copper bones key”. Unfortunately, none of them led to chests of gold and jewels. For the Goonies, they used their map/doubloon/key to find One-Eyed Willy’s pirate ship (really cool) and solve the mystery of the skeleton organ (really scary). Cyndi Lauper sings the classic song “The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough”, which is still fun to listen to today. I saw her in concert and was sad that she didn’t sing the song ... she started to but then switched to another song after about 10 seconds. There are many memorable lines from the movie but “Goonies never say die!” is the one that I would bet many people say at least once every day.

Mikey’s “our time down here” speech is moving ... definitely deserving of a Rudy slow clap. (See what I did there?) So grab a Baby Ruth or some Rocky Road and reminisce about the time Andy kissed Mikey and then turned around and kissed Brand. Classic Andy! Speaking of Andy, I have a friend named Andy that has never seen this movie. I challenge him to see this movie before the end of the year!!!

Next movie to review: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off