Play like a champion today

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Rated: G

Runtime: 91 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Esmeralda

Prince/Hero: Quasimodo

Sidekicks: Captain Phoebus, Hugo, Laverne, Victor, Djali

Villain: Frollo

Music: “The Bells of Notre Dame”, “The Court of Miracles”, “God Help the Outcasts”, “A Guy Like You”, “Heaven’s Light/Hellfire”, “Out There”, “Topsy Turvy”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Quasimodo, ½ for Esmeralda, ½ for Frollo, and 1 for “Heaven’s Light/Hellfire”.

The coulda-shoulda-woulda movie. It was nearly Disney’s second PG rated animated movie, and it was good if you took out its want-to-be Shrek moments, even though Shrek didn’t get released until 2001. Quasimodo was a good guy and great hero. Esmeralda was really kind and brave; I just wish she would have ended up with Quasi. Captain Phoebus was ok, but the gargoyles were not funny. Frollo was a bad man and had some extremely terrifying moments. The music was good but again too many songs. “Heaven’s Light/Hellfire” was by far the best.

Overall a movie that was better than I had expected, but could have been much more. The ‘90s have been my favorite decade so far for Disney movies, but this one is a bit low on the list. Quasi should be a fan favorite, maybe even deserving of a slow-clap ... or chanting of his name from the cheap seats. Quasi ... Quasi ... Quasi. It might/might not do well in the bracket.

One a-maize-ing woman

Pocahontas (1995)

Rated: G

Runtime: 81

Princess/Heroine: Pocahontas

Prince/Hero: John Smith

Sidekicks: Meeko, Flit, Chief Powhatan, Grandmother Willow, Kocoum, Nakoma

Villain: Governor Ratcliffe, Percy, Thomas

Music: “Colors of the Wind”, “Just Around the Riverbend”, “Listen with Your Heart”, “Mine, Mine, Mine” “Savages”, “Steady as the Beating Drum”, “The Virginia Company”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 3 ears. 1 for Pocahontas, 1 for Meeko/Flit/Nakoma, and 1 for the music.

Hmmm. After a string of really good movies, this one takes a step back. It’s not bad, but it not good; just somewhere in the middle. Pocahontas is a great heroine. She sings and makes good choices. John Smith is ok but a little creepy. Meeko and Flit are good pals for Pocahontas, and Nakoma is a good friend. Governor Ratcliffe is kind of boring and racist. Too many songs, but there are 2 really good ones in “Colors of the Wind” and “Just Around the Riverbend”.

I had a friend in high school that complained when he was dragged to this movie by his younger girlfriend. I had no problem being dragged to this movie by a girl in high school ... who am I kidding, I saw it by myself. Pocahontas was hot! She carried this movie by herself and may be able to win a game in the bracket. Take that Mike Hussey! (He was my friend in high school.)

Return of the King

 

The Lion King (1994)

Rated: G

Runtime: 88 minutes

Princess/Heroine: none

Prince/Hero: Simba

Sidekicks: Mufasa, Nala, Timon, Pumbaa, Rafiki, Sirabi, Zazu

Villain: Scar, Shenzi, Banzai, Ed

Music: “Be Prepared”, “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”, “Circle of Life”, “Hakuna Matata”, “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 4 ears. 1 for Simba, 1 for Mufasa/Timon/Pumbaa, 1 for Scar, and 1 for the music.

I worked at a movie theater when this came out and it was extremely popular. Simba is a great hero, but only after being lazy for most of the movie. Nala should have been the hero of the movie, but she wasn’t allowed to be because, well, she’s a girl. Mufasa is pretty awesome but he is only around for a short time. Timon and Pumbaa are a funny duo and at times steal the show. Scar is one of the best villains ever, and the trio of hyenas are solid as well. The music has to be considered one of Disney’s best; the “Circle of Life” opening is amazing!

Back story: I ruined this movie for 200 people during one of my days working at the local theater. I bumped the projector and caused the movie to break during Simba’s dramatic scene after defeating Scar. Some people were in the lobby getting drinks and didn’t get back to their seats before we fixed and restarted the movie ... sorry. This movie will be a heavy favorite in the bracket.

Diamond in the rough

Aladdin (1992)

Rated: G

Runtime: 90

Princess/Heroine: Jasmine

Prince/Hero: Aladdin

Sidekicks: Genie, Abu, Magic Carpet, Sultan, Radja

Villain: Jafar, Iago

Music: “Friend Like Me”, “One Jump Ahead”, “Prince Ali”, “A Whole New World”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Aladdin, 1 for Jasmine, 1 for Genie, 1 for Jafar, and 1 for the music.

Fun, excitement, scares, romance ... this movie has it all. Aladdin is a smooth criminal and a big hit with the ladies. Jasmine can hold her own and won’t settle for just anyone. Abu is a funny pal, and Magic Carpet is there whenever Aladdin needs him. Jafar is a snake (literally), and Iago is a faithful partner in crime. The music is great and the magic carpet scene is breathtaking. But the best part of the movie is the Genie. He is hilarious and does a good job of not being over the top.

I started working at a movie theater in 1992. I remember this movie being extremely popular. It played forever. I bet there was at least one guy who took several girls on movie dates and this film was the film of choice for at least 2 months. This will be an extremely popular movie in the bracket, and I bet that guy who went on all those movie dates to Aladdin will pick it to go very far. Good luck Rick ... or whatever his name might have been.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Rated: G

Runtime: 84 minutes

Princess/Heroine: Belle

Prince/Hero: Beast

Sidekicks: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip, Maurice

Villain: Gaston, Lefou

Music: “Be Our Guest”, “Beauty and the Beast”, “Belle”, “Gaston”, “The Mob Song”, “Something There”

Rating—out of 5 Mickey Mouse ears: 5 ears. 1 for Belle, 1 for Beast, 1 for Lumiere/Cogsworth/Mrs. Potts, 1 for Gaston, and 1 for the music. Yay! Another movie to earn all 5 ears.

There are so many amazing things about this film. Belle is fantastic. She reads, takes care of herself and her Papa, and knows the difference between a good guy and a jerk. Beast is a bit scary at first, but it’s just a cover for his sweetness. Lumiere and Cogsworth are a great duo, and Mrs. Potts keeps everything together. Gaston is a big chuckle-head, but his evilness is top-notch. The music is easily some of the best to date, and the movie has the famous ballroom dance scene which gets better every time you watch it.

I hate to bring it up; there is only one small thing wrong with this movie and I am pretty sure everyone agrees with me. The Beast is awesome; the Beast turning into the Prince at the end is not. If only there was a way he could have learned his lesson and Beast and Belle could have made it work. But all that aside, this movie will be a huge favorite in the bracket and should go very far.